A Will Unbroken
by WilliamsLadyLove
Summary: COMPLETE Post Something Blue. A letter will bring to light something that was supposed to have stayed buried. Buffy and Spike face one of the greatest challenges of their lives, while Glory continues her relentless search for the key. (BS)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I never will and I do not own Spike, sadly, I'm just borrowing them for this story.  
  
Author's Notes: Enjoy and review! the more comments, the faster I update.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Dear Mr. and Mrs. William Evans,  
  
I am writing this letter to check in on your progress as newlyweds. The first year is over and that is typically the most difficult time and I am glad to see that my records show that the two of you have made it through. Please, if you ever need anything, do not be afraid to call and let me know, I would gladly give you any service that I would be able to do. I wish you both the best and once again, congratulations.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Father Gibson  
  
Spike stared at the sheet of paper in front of him, and read it over and over, attempting to make sense of it all. Yes, his true name was William Evans, but he hadn't gone by that name in over one hundred years. Okay boy, think, a year ago, what were you doing?   
  
He paced back and forth in his crypt mulling it over and over in is head, and then it struck him as though he'd been stuck by a wayward stake, right through the chest. "Bloody hell!" He crumpled up the paper, more like balled and shot it like a missile across the room, only to storm over to it and unball it.   
  
"Just what I bloody needed. I'm gonna get a bleedin stake shoved through me heart because the stupid bint of a witch fucked up a spell! Jesus Christ! Not like I bloody want to be married to the slayer, that's Captain Cardboard's job, not mine." He growled low in his throat and tore outta his crypt, looking for one particular blonde Vampire Slayer.  
  
As Spike walked, his stride long and purposeful, his mind ran over that day, that night, all of it, since the first second that Red's spell took effect.  
  
It started around the time that he was chained up in the bathroom, more exactly the bath tub in Giles's flat, being pumped for answers about the Initiative. Buffy and Giles stood there in the bathroom with him, Buffy attempting to goad him into giving up answers, while Giles handed her a novelty mug filled with blood. The pig's blood made him want to gag right there and to top it off it was in a God forsaken yellow mug that said "Kiss the Librarian."  
  
He could still remember what she was wearing, it was an easy look, not one of her more fancy outfits that she tends to put on for when she goes out or sees her boyfriends or whatnot. A red hoodie that fit her curves nicely and a pair of black pants that accented her high shapely ass perfectly, and her hair, that blonde, gorgeous hair was up in a high ponytail with a few whisps falling into her face. His favorite colors, red and black on such a beautiful woman. Though they were enemies, ever since the day that he laid eyes on her when she was a junior in high school, dancing so seductively at the Bronze, he had thought of her as beautiful, seductive and an angel in her own right. He wasn't above noticing an attractive woman, even if he had been with Drusilla at the time.   
  
She sat down on the edge of the old fashioned white porcelian bathtub and pushed the mug into his face, the quips about his current condition flowing freely from her lips as Giles stumbled about his words. She mentioned about how maybe he didn't want to leave, and a part of him didn't, though much of him was dying to flee the area, get away from this beautiful creature. Then she exposed her neck to him, teasing him. "... my poor, bare, tender, exposed neck..."  
  
He groaned just thinking about it, watching that blood, her blood, pumping, running through her veins and he wanted to bite her, not drain her, but claim her. He wanted her. She had no idea just how sexual that act was, how when he took a victim, it was because of their beauty. That the taking of blood was one of the most intimate things that a vampire could bestow. But then again she now knew, previously from the master, and Angel, but those were different circumstances, and now that she had felt the desire from Dracula...  
  
He remembered asking Giles to make her stop, but in all truth her didn't really want her to, just to let him loose so that he could bite her; however the bloody chip in his head would have put a right stop to that then.   
  
  
  
It was two days later when things began to get a bit more interesting. His escape from Giles, running into Buffy so suddenly, arguing so heatedly that always managed to turn him on, dying for her tight little body to throw punches with his. Next thing he knew, he was kneeling on the floor in front of her on Giles's floor. "Marry me and make me the happiest man on earth." And she said yes, amazingly she said yes. Slipping the skull ring onto her finger, he stood her up and kissed her hungrily, receiving the same passion in return. He could have sworn he was going to turn to dust right there the heat was so intense.   
  
Her lips were soft and seeking of his, needing more and more, they kissed the way they fought. A dance, brutal yet never giving that killing blow. Things became a blur for awhile, arguments about the wedding, Angel, Drusilla, but the kisses stuck in his mind. He became more and more intoxicated with her the more that they kissed... "Oh pouty... look at that lip... gonna get it, gonna get it."   
  
Naturally, no one else accepted it, Giles and Xander, and even Anya were dead set against it, even though it was the happiest that they had seen Buffy in... EVER! Things progressed on, continuing mushy stuff that he to this day still could not believe he did, but it all ended in a crypt, them kissing, him on the ground, her lithe little body pressing on top of him. She jumped up and the look that he got from her just about broke his heart, a look of pure disgust and hatred. "Spike lips! Lips of Spike!" He had to save himself somehow, so he put on the same look and spat out, Oh bloody hell! the best that he could.   
  
But now here he was, walking through the cemetery looking for the one woman that he loved to hate the one that he hated to love, but couldn't help either. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I never will and I do not own Spike, sadly, I'm just borrowing them for this story.  
  
Author's Notes: Enjoy and review! the more comments, the faster I update.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Buffy patrolled through the cemetery, spinning the stake around and around in her hand. Her thoughts swirled around her mother, Dawn, Glory, Riley, all of it. She was stalking around, waiting for a vamp to take her frustrations out on, she couldn't handle it all. Sure she was older, and sure she was stronger physically, but she still didn't understand the way that the world was working. She had found what was supposed to be the man of her dreams, but, she couldn't allow herself to let her defenses down around him.   
  
With Angel it had been different, he could make her cry, it was unpredictable and it was passionate. With Riley, they had almost entered a routine. And then her mom's illness hit and all of her attention went there, that and the whole thing with Glory and Dawn being the key and it was all just so aggravating. Seemed anymore like Spike of all people was the only one who seemed to understand her.   
  
Walking by another mausoleum she stopped and sat down on a bench, cracking her fingers and taking just a moment to breathe and make her thoughts stop swirling around her head. It didn't work. Her mom was in surgery now, and what if it didn't work? What if she didn't make it through? What if Glory found out about Dawn? What would happen? Why couldn't she beat Glory? Every time that she faced her she got her ass kicked. And then her mind traveled back to that night over a year ago. It was something that she had never told anyone about. When Willow's "Will be done spell" had happened.   
  
Her thoughts drifted to the peroxide haired vampire and she sighed as she closed her eyes, remembering that night. They had slipped off at one point and Spike had led her away from Giles's apartment, to his crypt when they had told him that they did need to patrol. He had only groaned and shooed them away, eager to be rid of the smooching twosome.   
  
They had practically raced to Spike's crypt that he had set up. Slamming the door behind them, he pushed her up against the cold stone, the cool stone and his cool body sandwiching her. His hands traveled up her sides, under her green top, gliding over her skin, leaving a heated trail even though his hands were cold.   
  
She had wrapped her legs around his waist and ground her clothed sex against him. As he plundered her neck with kisses she breathed out husky words "Oh Spike. I love you. Oh Spike, I need you." He had just growled in return and she could feel his hardness growing beneath his jeans and he was huge and still growing. Pulling her down from the wall, they traveled further into his crypt, both somehow losing their shirts along the way.   
  
She was surprised at his chiseled features, cut like white marble as though he were a Greek statue that she had seen in her Art History books. His jeans rode low on his hips and her eyes traversed their way down the cut line on his hips heading down to where his jeans covered his arousal.   
  
Taking the initiative, she pushed him backwards and they both fell onto the bed as his arms were locked around her in a tight embrace that was so loving and so hungry for passion.   
  
She sat there in the cemetery now, lost in the memory, aroused by it.  
  
Looking around she stood up and straightened out her clothes. This wasn't right, she wasn't supposed to think about that, not Spike. It just wasn't right. It was crazy, insane and she'd already told him that there was nothing between them. She loved Riley and it was time that she started acting like it. Now if she could just stop thinking about the night of the most amazing sex that she had ever had in her life, things would just be peachy.   
  
Spike rounded the corner and his senses were assaulted by the smell of an intense arousal. A smell that seemed so familiar, yet hard to place at the same time. Most likely some high school or college couple who had decided to go in for some after hours sex capades in the cemetery, not realizing just what was out here at this late hour.  
  
He moved like a cat, slipping silently through the area, lurking, hunting his prey, his muscles practically rippling under his clothes, his blue eyes sharp in the dark of night. He came up alongside the mausoleum and stood there for a second, listening for any hint that the person may know that he was there and that's when he saw her, standing up and unruffling her clothes, her face flushed as though she was ashamed of her thoughts.  
  
There she was, his blonde goddess, and alone. The air was potent of her arousal. He leaned his head back and groaned, his pants already uncomfortably tight, gripping the letter tightly in his hand, the paper crumpled and made just enough noise to alert her to his position.   
  
"Hello? Alright you know what, I don't take kindly to peeping Tom vampires, so you know what, you are so gonna get staked..." Her quips came through gasps and he couldn't move despite his brain telling him to do so. His body was rooted there to the ground and his heart was telling him to go to her.   
  
Finding his voice he managed to get himself under control and stepped out from the shadows. "It's only me Slayer. And don't worry, wasn't watchin ya. Just got a piece of mail thought that you might be interested in." He held out his hand and she snatched it away from him, surprise on her beautiful features and worry that he might have seen her, and something else was in her eyes, something more feral, savage, Spike couldn't place it.   
  
"What are you talking about Spike?" Uncrumpling the letter she began to read the lines. "Why does this pertain to me? And who is William Evans?"  
  
He groaned and rolled his eyes. "It's me Slayer, I'm bloody William Evans. And it does pertain to you. Remember that soddin spell that Red cast little over a year ago when she was hurtin because of wolf boy? Yeah, that one. Well I think she forgot to fix something. We're married, like it or not, we are. For some odd reason the spell didn't completely reverse itself and I know I know, don't give me that look, we were only engaged, but think back, we were just gonna do the big thing for all the scoobies, we were already technically married, stupid bint and her wording of her will." Finishing his rant he stared back at the woman in front of him, her mouth just about hanging on the ground. "Well don't look so bloody excited. We'll get divorced good and proper and you can be back in time for a nice boring shag with Captain Cardboard. What?"  
  
"We, We're... married?" She ran her fingers through her hair and looked around for and escape route, she couldn't look at him, not when she'd been thinking of that time over a year ago and actually getting off on a memory in the middle of a cemetery.   
  
"Slayer calm down. Anyways, how's your mum? She outta surgery yet?" His eyes were filled with concern for her, like he actually loved her. It was like that night when he had consoled her after she had so harshly shut him down. Looking up into his eyes she actually let herself speak without thinking about what he might think of her.  
  
"Not yet, she's, I don't know, I just couldn't sit in there anymore, waiting for someone to show up. Spike... I'm scared. What if she doesn't make it, what am I supposed to do? Before she went into surgery she told me what she wanted if she didn't make it, all the preparations for the fu.. fune...funeral."  
  
He wanted so bad to take her into his arms and comfort her as he saw the tears gather in her eyes. It wasn't his place however even though he was by all law her husband. "Buffy, things will be alright, but you better get back to your mum and little bit. They're gonna need you."  
  
She watched him as he turned on his heel, walking away, his leather duster billowing out behind him. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I never will and I do not own Spike, sadly, I'm just borrowing them for this story.  
  
Author's Notes: Enjoy and review! the more comments, the faster I update.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
He slammed the door to his crypt and tore his coat off, throwing it to the ground. "Bleedin ninny that's what I am. A Bloody NINNY! I'm worse than that poofter of a sire of mine! Can't even be anywhere near the slayer and not get all poncey." He stopped and looked at the door of his crypt. "Hope she's gonna be a'ight."  
  
Buffy walked through the doors of the hospital and back into the waiting room with her friends, sister and her lover. She smiled at the sight, it was the typical Scoobie Gang. Willow was fidgeting and bothering Xander, who had become a pillow to Anya. Giles was pacing back and forth with a cup of coffee in his hand that he wasn't even drinking, and Dawn was curled up like a little child in Riley's lap. He was idly running his fingers through her hair and he looked so... paternal.   
  
What Buffy found strange was that she wasn't jealous that she wasn't the one in Riley's arms, that she was content to be the one looking in on this scene. Why was she always the outsider? She didn't have any more time to contemplate matters before Giles saw her and beckoned her over to where he now stood holding his coffee.   
  
"We haven't heard anything yet, but they think it will be soon, or at least I hope. How was patrolling?" He switched coffee hands.  
  
She reached out and gently removed the now cold cup from his hand. "Patrolling was fine, I worked out some things and..." She almost slipped and told him about the whole still being married to Spike, but no one even knew that they had been married and that was just not a can of worms that she wanted to open up right now. Besides, she had scared Riley enough that night when she had told him that she was going to marry Spike. "I uh, well, just a few vamps, that's all. Saw Spike, had a chat, nothing big."  
  
"How you can put up with that heathen..." Giles rolled his eyes. "He isn't the greatest flat mate, let's just say that. Went and drank all my scotch." The last part was said under his breath and Buffy just shook her head at him.  
  
"I'm gonna pretend like I didn't hear that Giles." Sitting down next to Riley she crossed her legs and looked around at the hospital surroundings: the silent atmosphere that left a scared feeling running down one's spine, the white sinister walls, the sterile environment that left one shivering. This place was bleak and depressing and she couldn't wait to get outta here. Here she couldn't control what happened. There was nothing here to slay, nothing to fight, nothing that she could even do to help her mother. At times like this it made one want to take up religion.   
  
Riley, noting the trapped look in his lover's eyes, put an arm around her and smiled comfortingly down at her, but as soon as he had the doctor came out and she jumped up, without giving it so much as a second's thought to his arm that she just abandoned.   
  
Hugging her arms around herself, Buffy approached the doctor with Giles, Willow and Xander at her sides. "What is it doctor? Is my mother going to be alright?"   
  
Smiling at her, he put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Your mother made it through just fine, so don't worry, but I do suggest, and this is my opinion as a doctor: Go home and get some sleep, relax. Your mother is going to be in recovery and she probably won't wake up until tomorrow. She's a strong woman, your mother."   
  
Buffy wanted to cry out with joy. She flung her arms around Xander, then Willow and then Giles, the father figure in her life. As she turned back to Riley, with a sleeping Dawn in his arms still, she smiled, her exultation calmed for the moment. "Xander, Anya? Would you guys mind watching Dawn tonight. I think that Riley and I need to spend some time together." She was intrigued by the look of surprise that crossed his handsome farm grown features. "What do you say? Feel like spending some time together? Just the two of us?"  
  
He nodded, quite happy about her decision to spend time together, but perhaps it was a little too late. Waking Dawn up, he stood up, unwrinkling his pants and shirt.   
  
Groggily she looked around. "Is mom awake yet?"  
  
Buffy ran over and hugged her sister tightly. "She's gonna be fine Dawnie. I talked to the doctor, she's gonna be fine." Tears ran unchecked down the two Summers' faces at the joyful news of their mother's prognosis.   
  
Riley stood like an outsider looking inside of something that he knew that he would never be a part of. Xander, Buffy, Willow, Giles and Dawn had been together since the beginning. Hell, even Anya and Tara were more accepted than he was into the group; at least their significant others loved them. He would have given anything to have Buffy look at him the way that Willow looked at Tara or Xander looked at Anya. All he saw when Buffy looked at him was a wish. He would never be Angel, he was only human, he couldn't be the monster that she wanted. Things were great when he was still one of the lab rats for the Initiative, and then they took all that away, and he was average Joe again.   
  
He remembered that day, he knew something was going wrong, that he was stronger than he should have been, but the passion between he and Buffy was astounding, she was all over him, all of the time. Laughing, fighting, all of it was full of the heat and passion that he imagined she had had with Angel. And then the discovery of the chip by his heart, if they took it out, he wouldn't die, but their relationship would. She swore to him that it wouldn't, but he knew better, he knew her better than she knew herself. And then the words that he wished he had never heard came out of her mouth. "If I wanted a guy with super powers, I'd be dating Spike." Where had that come from? He had never brought up Spike, that was of her own doing, and in that moment, he saw the attraction that she had for him.   
  
The vampire was right, she did like a little monster in her man. Angel was unattainable due to the curse, he wasn't enough of a monster, but Spike... She swore that she hated him, but she treated him like a man, not like the vermin that he knew he was. She was supposed to be a Vampire Slayer for Christ's sake, and she was pardoning him, all because of that chip, that chip that HE put inside of his head. He wasn't any different, he was still a cold blooded killer, just locked within a cell that he would inevitably find a way to break away from.   
  
Riley didn't even notice when Buffy took his arm and the group of them walked out of the hospital that he had been sitting in for a better part of 24 hours.   
  
Dawn walked out of Xander's kitchen and sat down with a soda in her hand, attempting to ignore Anya's babbling about the money that she had made at the Magic Box. Her day, it's Dawn's big day, her mom was gonna be alright, then why couldn't she be with her family? They were all separated. Well, Buffy is with Riley, Mom is in the hospital still and I'm here... this is so much fun. Can someone please shut up Anya? She giggled to herself. Anya was kinda, interesting in her own way, and at least she didn't have to hear the sex capades at home. That was just way to sick, Riley was so not her sister's type. Oh well, he seemed to make her happy enough, she certainly didn't cry as much as she did with Angel. Everything just had to be so dramatic then. She would never understand her sister.   
  
  
  
"Riley? Can we just make this night last forever? I never want it to end." Buffy relaxed in Riley's arms as they swayed to and fro to the music that softly played in the dim background. She closed her eyes and let herself just drift as she related to him about how scared she had been, about how she had cried so often and how she had been so weak in the presence of all of this. She didn't notice the hurt look on his face.   
  
The ended the night making love in her bed and she drifted off to sleep, not knowing when Riley left her side and disappeared into the night, and she didn't notice a certain blonde vampire standing outside of her bedroom window all night long. 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I never will and I do not own Spike, sadly, I'm just borrowing them for this story.  
  
Author's Notes: Enjoy and review! the more comments, the faster I update.  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Spike ground his cigarette into the ground with the heel of his booted foot and leaned back against the tree, thinking about what he had just seen, trying to make sense of it. Mr. Boy Scout of America shaggin with Buffy and then... leaving? Was he insane? Lighting up another cigarette he followed the boy, casting another backwards glance at his angel's window. "Don't worry luv, I'll find out what this young pup is up to."  
  
He followed Riley to a small place downtown and followed him inside of the warehouse... no, this... this was insane. Fuck, who was he kiddin, this was fuckin hilarious! It took everything in him to keep from laughing and flaunting his new found knowledge in front of the Boyscout. He turned on his heel and practically skipped away from the building and back to his crypt to do a little celebrating.   
  
He twirled himself into his crypt, slamming the door shut with his foot and falling into his chair, holding a bottle of whiskey in his hand, singing some Godforsaken country song with a bit of a Billy Idol sound. He was perched precariously on his seat and fell off in a fit of giggles. "Oh this is GRAND! Better than that bleedin Peaches of a sire of mine's stunt. All bent outta shape just because some other guy has made her scream before, poofter has to be coddled. He doesn't know just how good he's got it. None of um do, but I do, I know how good I had it, and you know what? I'm gonna be the last one to have it." He took another swig of his whiskey and got up, swaggering around.   
  
He swaggered up to the blonde haired mannequin and pointed his right index finger at her. "Well luv, best pucker up cause you're gonna be kissing the Big Bad here soon enough. Gonna make you scream again. Cause you have horrid taste in men, but it doesn't mean... wait, what was I sayin? Was I makin a point?" He furrowed his brow as he stared at the unresponsive mannequin. "What nothing to say luv? Cat got your tongue? I'll have it soon enough."  
  
He never noticed the attack coming from his right. He was suddenly slammed into the wall and had he had any need for air, it would have been knocked right out of him, as it was he felt a few ribs crack and few threatening to. "Why the hell were you following me tonight Spike?!"  
  
Riley's face twisted with rage as he stared at the drunken blonde vampire who was quickly sobering up. His grip tightened on the shorter man's neck as held him up high above the ground and pinned against the wall of his dusty, vile crypt. "You know, I don't even wanna know. But I know you saw something and you better not say anything, you got that? I know what you're up to. You love her, but you know what, you'll never have her, NEVER. She wouldn't look at you, let alone touch you. Get over this, this thing of yours, this obsession. She's mine."   
  
Spike smirked at the boy and chocked out through crushed windpipes, "I've already had her you ninny." His eyes grew wide as a stake was suddenly shoved through his heart. His undead life and his life flashed before his eyes and.. what, he was still alive, no dust and the same ugly Captain Cardboard standing in front of him. Oh God.. Pain. The intense pain shot through him like a lightening bolt, crippling him. Falling to his knees, Riley finally let him drop, holding the stake that was now dripping with Spike's blood in his hand.   
  
"Don't fuck with me Spike. Your nocturnal emissions don't count." He smirked at the confused look on the vampire's face as he clutched his chest where a gapping whole lay in his heart. "Like it? Synthetic wood, looks just like the real thing, only it's plastic. Stay away from her Spike, or next time it will be the real thing."  
  
Standing up Spike reached for his whiskey and poured it over his wound. "You don't know how lucky you got it boy. I know you, I know what's going through your head. You think you aren't getting enough, that you deserve more. But you know what? You get to hold her, have her writhe underneath of you, moaning your name. You see her in the sun, you can run your hands through her hair. You HAVE her. And you sit around complaining? You ponces are all the same. Angel was broody cause he had her every way emotionally and mentally, but couldn't have her physically, and you're broody cause you can't have her emotionally. You HAVE her, it's more than I can say."  
  
"You know that she'll never love you, right?" Riley sneered at him. Everything that he said was right and the only thing was, was that he couldn't see his point, he couldn't live without everything.  
  
"I can sure as hell try though." Spike growled as a slight warning that he was growing weary of this talk. Indignant that this boy should come in here, threaten him and sit there telling him about how he was unworthy and all his nancy boy complaining. "Get your ass outta here. And next time, bring the real thing, none of this torture shit. Oh, and you do realize that if I didn't have this chip in my head."  
  
"Yeah, I'd be all dead and proper like. Enough Spike. You're neutered."  
  
Riley walked outta the door of the crypt and as the door closed, Spike chucked his bottle of Jack Daniels, now empty at the retreated back. The glass shattered against the cold stone of the crypt and he lay there, moaning in pain. Now there were two holes in his heart. He chuckled at his thoughts, "sounds like a pretty good country song if ya ask me." 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I never will and I do not own Spike, sadly, I'm just borrowing them for this story.  
  
Author's Notes: Enjoy and review! the more comments, the faster I update.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Buffy woke and rolled over in her bed, her arms reaching out for her lover that had slipped away during the night, encountering nothing but cold, unwelcoming sheets. She frowned as she sat up, pulling on her robe and heading towards the showers. Why had Riley left? Maybe he had something to do; why was she worried? It's because you don't think he can handle himself anymore. That little voice nagged inside of her and she pushed it back to where it belonged, out of her head.   
  
As she rolled to the other side she was shocked by the sight in front of her, it was Spike, leaning against a wall, hand still held over his chest and blood seeping out from his fingers. From what she could tell, he was passed out extremely pale, even for a vampire. Jumping from her warm bed she slipped over to him, forgetting about her nakedness. Running a finger down his face she bit back the tears, usually he was so strong, but this was serious, he wasn't getting the blood he needed to help his body regenerate and so he was slipping into a state of hibernation.  
  
Grabbing the first aid kit from under her bed and a robe, because the cold air brought her to the realization that she was naked, she went back to him, pulling his hand away from the gapping wound underneath. "Oh God, Spike. What happened to you?" She wasn't mad that he had come here, he was probably too scared to stay at his place. Her thoughts traversed all possibilities as she dressed his wound. All sorts of demons, monsters... It looked as though a stake had done it, but if it had, he would be dust. Whoever had done this had to have been one sick individual.   
  
He was unresponsive, his easy swagger and waggling eyebrows were not present, all that there was was a shell of a man, cold, hard and stone. She missed her Spike, this Spike was scaring her, she had to know that he was gonna be alright. This thought almost made her chuckle, about two years ago, maybe less, she wouldn't have cared what would have happened to Spike, but now, they had a history, and God help her, she might actually think of him as a friend now.   
  
She tended dutifully to his wounds, not noticing her own state. Her robe and fallen down low enough to give a very good look to anyone who might be around, and unfortunately she was also covered with Spike's blood.   
  
Riley came up the stairs, after his meeting with Spike he had wandered around for a couple hours until finally finding his way back to her home. He heard soft sobbing as he walked up to her door and he opened it quickly to find Buffy kneeling in front of Spike... weeping... and half falling out of her robe. What the hell was she doing? She spun on her heel, falling to the ground and adjusted her robe at the gasp that she heard behind her. "Riley! I don't know what happened to him. I just woke up and he was here, bleeding from a huge gapping hole in his heart. Can you maybe go get some blood? Maybe if we get some in him he'll wake up. God who would do such a thing?" Her eyes looked at him, searching for an answer that she doubted that he had. She was also searching for comfort that she knew he would give, but she never expected what he was about to say to her.  
  
"Maybe he deserved it. Maybe you shouldn't be fawning over him like he's a sick puppy. You know what they do to animals hurt this bad? They kill them. Put them outta their misery. Hell, he's a thing Buffy! He's not a man, he doesn't even have a soul. You're a Vampire Slayer and for damn reason you're attracted to them! Can't you just kill them and be on with your life? You know, you can stay here with Spike. We don't know each other anymore, you're changing. Just, I can't look at you, covered in his blood. In fact, I'm leaving, unless you can shove a stake through his heart and give me a reason to stay."  
  
Her eyes grew round and wide as she stuttered out a few words, "You, you wa... want me t.. to k.. kill him? But he's helped me! He's changed! What did he ever do to you Riley?! And what the fuck do you mean that you're leaving?! Haven't I given you enough? What more do you want? I've given you my body, my life, my mind, my heart. What haven't you gotten yet?"  
  
"I don't have you're heart Buffy and I sure as hell don't have you're life. You push me aside the second anything major happens. Like I can't take it, you don't come to me for comfort. I need to be needed!"  
  
"Well I'm sorry if you can't handle this! Maybe it would be better if you did go. If you suddenly have the desire for me to kill my friends..."  
  
"So he's a friend now is he, last I heard he was just someone who came and helped you out when you paid him. Buffy, he's evil! He's just like a serial killer in prison."  
  
"You don't know him Riley, you never took the time to know him. He's not gonna hurt me. He was the one who was there for me through my mother's illness. Not you. Him."  
  
"I would have been there had you let me! God Buffy, you turned away from me when I tried to hug you, to comfort you. You needed to be comforted, but you wouldn't let yourself. Now you tell me that you let this creature comfort you!" He gestured wildly to the bleeding vampire on the floor, his eyes like daggers shooting into Buffy's soul.  
  
Buffy was in full slayer mode now though, nothing he said could touch, only make her fight more. The realization that he had been the one to do this to Spike had hit her not too long ago and she wanted Riley to feel the pain that Spike now felt. "I want you gone. You say you're leaving, well I want you gone. I never want to hear from you again. You're the monster. You always have. So get out of my house, my life, my world, forever. I don't care what you do, just don't include me." Her voice dripped with ice and she stood up, her small frame imposing and threatening as she put herself between Spike and Riley. "Out, now."  
  
He sneered at her and turned, down the steps and out of her life forever. He didn't even stop when he reached the front door, just out and down the front steps. It was when he sat down in his car that he turned back and looked at the now closed window. So this was it, this was really the end, goodbye. She had made her choice. A vampire. Hope that she was happy. He pulled out the engagement ring that he held in his pocket and sighed. "Goodbye Buffy. I could have made you happy if you had only let me." With that he drove off, to the military base, his stuff packed in the back of the car. He was going to South America, go to where someone really needed him.   
  
Buffy watched Riley leave before she turned back to Spike, his limp body still propped up against the desk where he must have fallen last night or during the early morning. She was still trying to figure out how he had gotten into her room, her house, without her noticing. She sighed as she knelt back down in front of him, staring at him his features. His wounds were all bandaged now and she thought that she had stopped the blood flow, and all that she could do was stare at him now. She should be calling Willow, or Giles, or Xander, anyone to help her. He needed blood and she knew that, but she couldn't bring herself to leave him.   
  
His eyes slowly opened and he looked back at her with his own half-lidded stare. "Slayer..." He slurred out the single word and sighed before closing his eyes again.   
  
Finally bringing herself to move, she got up and called Willow, explaining the situation to her and then hanging up, trusting Willow to get here as quick as possible with the blood to help restore Spike back to himself.   
  
Willow arrived shortly after the call and ran up the stairs to fin Spike leaning against the desk and Buffy sitting there next to him, her robe disheveled around her and coated in blood, Spike's blood. Willow wanted to avert her eyes, but she couldn't, the scene was too grim. Buffy looked like she was in a comatose state, just staring at Spike.   
  
"Willow, he needs blood, now." She ran a hand down the vampire's face and a small groan escaped his lips; he was healing, but nowhere near fast enough.   
  
Kneeling beside her friend she helped to feed Spike the pig's blood that she had just received from the butcher, and it was still warm. She fed him a pint of it, hoping that that would be enough, but she had more in case he needed it, but it was time to tend to Buffy right now. Spike had eternal life, he would make it through this, Buffy on the other hand needed the support of her best friend.   
  
"Buffy, come on, let's get you cleaned up, we'll let Spike rest a minute and then we will come back and check on him."  
  
She only nodded in response to Willow's request and stood up. Her mind was racing again. Why was she this upset over Spike, she knew that he would be okay, but should help being scared to death. The realization that Riley had left her for good hadn't sunk in yet. She had turned him away, away for what? For Spike? Why did she care? This was the same vampire who had tried to kill her so many times before. And yes, she did consider him a friend now, but still, she was acting like she was… married… to… Spike… That realization hit her hard and her eyes flashed open and she spun to look at Willow. "What did you do?"  
  
Willow was taken a back by the sudden comment that was laced with ice. "Wha, what do you mean? I didn't do anything Buffy."  
  
"What did you do to me?! Why did you make me care about him?! You said that you reversed the spell, but you didn't! Not all of it!" She pushed Willow away from her and glared at her. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. This isn't why Angel left. This isn't supposed to happen. I'm supposed to hate him, but all I can think of is him! Willow! What did you do to me!?"   
  
The red haired witch backed away from the screaming woman who had tears streaming down her face, and Willow could feel her own tears traversing their way down her skin.   
  
"Get out! Out! Out!" She fell to her knees and her screams turned into sobs. "Out… Out of my head, out of my heart, out of my life. Oh God, Riley, Mom, Dawn, all of them. I can't save them, I can't hold them. Is this my curse? Why am I cursed?"   
  
Falling to her knees next to her, Willow hugged her dearest friend closely to her. "Shh Buffy, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay. We'll get it all figured out. We will, don't worry." Willow just heard Buffy continuing her monologue, never ending and always cryptic, she couldn't quite figure out what she was saying, though some things did fit. But in the end, it was all just rants.  
  
Spike heard the whole thing that was happening outside of Buffy's door. He had awoken not too long after the witch had taken Buffy out of the room to clean her up. Still attempting to figure out how he had gotten in the room, he figured that he had come up here during the night in the middle of his delirium from the pain and passed out, he stood up, wincing at the pain in his chest. His wounds were all bandaged now and he had received fresh blood. However, his heart felt as though it were having another hole torn into it as he heard his love, sobbing and wailing her heart out to the witch in the hallway. He knew it was because of him and that thought only caused him more pain.   
  
Grabbing the bag of blood on the table he jumped out of the window and landed badly, but picked himself up and took off for his crypt, the sun had just finished setting, so a soft glow still lingered in the sky, but he was safe from the sun, but not from his own emotions. 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, those rights belong to Joss Whedon. But perhaps he can let me borrow Spike for some enlightenment for my story :P  
  
Author's Notes: Thank you to all who reviewed my story! You guys are awesome. I'm gonna try to update as often as I can. I don't wanna let any of you guys down. Hope that you enjoy this latest addition.   
  
  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Willow shut the door to Buffy's room after finally calming her down and getting her cleaned up and then back into bed. Thankfully, her mom was gonna be in the hospital for observation for a few more days. Things were getting far too out of control for Willow to handle alone. Picking up the phone she dialed Giles's number.  
  
Giles wandered over to his phone and lifted the reciever, "Hello?"  
  
"Hi Giles, it's me, Willow. I'm um at Buffy's house and um, well I think you might want to come over here, some things happened and well, it's strange.. Maybe call Xander too, wait no, don't call Xander, he wouldn't like this whole thing. Just get over here." She babbled out her words quickly, words flowing together she spoke so fast.  
  
"Um, alright Willow, just calm down okay, I'll be over there in a little bit." He hung up the phone and looked over at Xander and Anya who were stocking books on the shelves of the Magic Box. "Anya, watch the store, I have to go take care of something."  
  
She just shrugged, "Fine with me. I'll watch the money and Xander here will help me. Won't you Xander?"   
  
Xander nodded and put another book onto the shelf. "Sure thing Giles, don't need to worry about the store with Anya and I here."  
  
He gave them a dubious look and turned, walking out of the store and towards his car.   
  
Buffy lay huddled in her bed, images swimming through her thoughts as she slept. Images of Spike laying next to her, holding her. Images of Riley flying off to lands unknown. Images of her mom dead. Images of Dawn being taken by Glory. Images of Angel and his disappointed look as he looked upon her and Spike, holding one another. And this message was said through the images. "A prophecy, of a vampire and a slayer. The slayer's power is rooted in darkness along with the vampire's power, they are one in the same. Look towards the heart's pull and you shall find your destiny."  
  
She whimpered in her sleep, hugging herself tighter, she had been distraught with all of her emotions hitting her like a tidal wave out in the hall. Screaming at Willow, but was it really Willow's fault? Was Willow to blame for her feelings towards Spike, for her sending Riley away? The one thing that would have kept her rooted to the normality of this world. But what was normal? Love, what is love? Love was only pain. She had loved Angel, but he had left her because he couldn't deal with it; Riley left her even though he had said that he loved her. Love wasn't worth it, it only ended in the men that she loved leaving her. She felt something for Spike, but he was soulless, not capable of love, and even if, he would leave too.   
  
She could still smell the metallic smell of blood in her room even through her sleep and she bit her lip till she could taste the blood in her mouth. In her dream she saw herself as a vampire, no, not as a vampire. She saw herself in a claiming ritual, allowing herself to be marked by a vampire, Spike, and tasting of his blood to be eternally knit to him. Was this her future? Was this some prophetic dream? If only that spell had never been done a year ago...  
  
Giles walked into the house and was met by Willow. She was hugging her arms around her torso, dried tears in streaks down her delicate ivory cheeks that were framed by her flaming red hair. Over the years Giles had grown to think of these kids as his own and he walked over, taking Willow into his arms, running his hand over her back, attempting to soothe her. "What happened Willow? What happened to Buffy?"  
  
Pushing herself away from him she paced around the living room as she retold what she could of Buffy's reaction to her. "Giles, she just flipped out. I came here after she called me, brought blood for Spike because he had been hurt somehow, I'm not really sure how. But I helped her with him and then I went to clean her up cause she was just covered in his blood and suddenly she pushed away from me, screaming and cursing at me about something that I did. That I made her feel something that she didn't want to feel. That I made him go away. Giles, something is really wrong and I don't know what it is. She almost lost it again when she saw that Spike was gone from the room when we got back."  
  
He nodded, cleaning his glasses, trying to keep his nerves steady, but his hands shook with fear for Buffy, the closest thing he would ever had to a daughter. "Where is she now?"  
  
"She's upstairs in her bed, trying to get some sleep."  
  
"Well the first thing Willow, I want you to go home, get some sleep yourself. I'll stay here in case Buffy should need anything, but I think, from what you told me, this is gonna be an internal battle for her. She's had a lot on her shoulders lately. Her mother's illness, Glory, Dawn, all of it." He held back his emotions, remaining his cool British attitude.   
  
She nodded and hugged him tightly, "thank you Giles." With that she left the house and left Giles alone with Buffy upstairs, tossing from a restless sleep.  
  
Across town Spike laid down in his crypt, hand still held over his heart. If he imagined enough he could feel it beating still, and shattering into thousands of pieces. Beating, life, breath, all that was what she wanted. She wanted someone alive, hell, someone with a soul. She deserved that. She deserved all of the things that he couldn't give her. She deserved a life in the sun, children, being able to grow old with her lover, but she could never have it. She only got what the Slayer life could give her: death, fighting, vampires, dying young.   
  
He sounded like the bloody king peaches and he wanted to rip the thoughts from his head. "What happened to me? I used to be the Big Bad and now I'm some whipped puppy? Tied to the slayer like I'm on some bloody leash."  
  
"Oh Spikey!"   
  
He groaned and stared straight up at the ceiling, dreading the coming conversation, if it could pass for a conversation. "What is it Harm?"  
  
"Where have you been Spikey? I missed my big Blondie Bear." A blonde stepped out of the shadows, a tiny pink nightgown tightly pressing against her light frame.   
  
"Harm, I've been out and no, I don't want to talk about it. And Harm, I hate being called that name!" He growled out the last part through clenched teeth.   
  
"Spike you never take me anywhere. We should go to France or something. Spike? Spike, why aren't you talking to me? Spike? Well, you know, the Slayer, you haven't seen her lately or anything have you? She isn't still after me?" She sat down with a flop into the recliner and started studying her nails. "You really should just get around to killing her. I mean she's got such bad hair and her taste in clothes... ew. And she's a stuck up little bitch, I swear. People thought that Cordy was bad, they should meet Buffy. She.." She didn't have time to finish her sentence as Spike shoved a stake through her non beating heart.  
  
"Maybe now I'm get some peace and quiet ya bloody bint! And don't talk about the slayer like that..." He growled, his face morphed into his vampiric face. He let his human features slip back over, he didn't like looking like that animal, not lately, lately he was craving the human side of himself. "She's better than you could ever have hoped to be." He sat down in the now dusty recliner and ripped off the bandages, exposed the almost healed wound and he stared at it. No heartbeat, no breath, what was he? A vampire who didn't kill, ravage, maim or destroy anymore. He was a vampire who helped the slayer. He was something other than a vampire, he was a vampire with a conscious, no, he was a vampire in love. Though he may not be human, he was gonna give the slayer something she deserved.  
  
Riley boarded the helicopter and looked out over the park, no Buffy, no one. He wasn't wanted here anymore, he never belonged here in the first place. But he wouldn't have traded the memories he had made in Sunnydale for anything. A single tear rolled down his cheek and said a few final words as he left Sunnydale forever. "Goodbye. Buffy, you've taught me what it meant to love, and you taught me so much with your giving, your sacrifices. I realize I wasn't the one and I wish you the best. I wish you love, though I wish you still loved me, know you will always have a piece of my heart." His words were lost on the wind as the helicopter flew away from the night into the rising sun that cast its soft morning glow across the world.   
  
TBC... 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, saddly. Too bad the show is over and Angel is ending soon or I'd be begging Joss to give me a job, but alas, I settle for this. Don't sue! It's yours! Not mine! Besides, I don't have any money :P  
  
Author's Notes: Thank you so much to all of you who have reviewed the story. Your reviews really do make a difference when I sit down to type more of my story. So thank you thank you thank you! You rock!  
  
Chapter 7  
  
A week Buffy stayed in her comatose disposition, walking around like a zombie, muttering to herself, and a week had gone by that no one has seen hide nor hair of Spike. A week Riley had been gone and a week, Joyce had come back home.   
  
While Buffy could barely take care of herself she did take care of her mother and Dawn, but the fire that was in her eyes were gone. She would stare longingly at Willow and Tara or Xander and Anya when she saw the couples together. She was the only one alone. Angel left, Riley left, Parker didn't even care, and Spike, what was Spike? Whatever it was, he had left too. It left Buffy to wonder, did she even get a chance at real love being the Slayer?  
  
It was during this week that she had retreated into herself and someone needed to pull her back out, but how? On patrol one night, she stared blankly ahead of her, but felt drawn, compelled to Spike's crypt. Everyone had told her that he was gone, but where could he have gone? Surely he couldn't have left too. Or maybe he had, maybe he had gotten sick of being kicked around.   
  
She opened the door to the crypt and walked inside. It smelt of him, leather, smoke and a smell purely his own. She walked in further, sliding her hand over the walls idly, her fingertips making drag lines through the dust that had collected on the wall. Perhaps being here, seeing this, touching it would somehow clear her head, make her understand why she was feeling like this. The guilt of yelling at Willow still weighed heavily on her and she felt, detached. Detached from her own body, her own feelings, the world.   
  
The door to the crypt shut behind her and the soft cockney drawl of his spread through the crypt, surrounding her, caressing her. "So now a man can't even keep his place to his bloody self? What is it ya want luv? Little Bit in trouble, need of some help? Or maybe could it be that you just missed me?" He walked up to her and looked down into her eyes and what he saw scared him.  
  
Her eyes were void, searching, they looked straight through him. She walked up to him, her hips swaying back and forth, enticing. There was lust in her eyes as she stalked her prey, yet he sensed that if he made the slightest movement she would bolt like a frightened fawn.   
  
"What is it Spike? Tell me, you've always been able to read me. Why do I feel this? What is my purpose? Do I feel something for you? A vampire without a soul? Is that wrong? Is this wrong? To feel some sinister attraction to my enemy for years? To think about the feel of him, inside of me, filling me? Do you think about it? Tell me Spike, come on, give me some quick little quip about this whole thing. Tell me that I'm dreaming and I'll wake up, that'll I'll be in bed, a nice normal girl, with her nice, normal boyfriend."   
  
He could feel her heat radiating from her body and he yearned for her, yearned to touch her, to pull her into his embrace and to capture her lips with his. He yearned to plunder her mouth with his tongue, but he stood his ground, staring down at the slight girl.   
  
"Nothing to say now Spike? This is one for the record books." She slid a finger down the middle of his chest, one short manicured nail, and she moved closer still so that the tips of her breasts just barely brushed his chest.  
  
He could smell her, vanilla, her shampoo and body wash. She didn't wear perfume, she didn't need to, at least he didn't think so. It took all of his will power not to do anything as she tilted her head up and nibbled, sucked and kissed his neck, whispering sweet little nasties to him.  
  
"Don't you just want to feel something Spike? Anything? Don't you just sometimes want to give into your primal? I envy you, because you can. I can't, I have to remain the holder of the world. I carry this world on my shoulders and you're the one who has always been able to pull me down, do you know that? I've seen you. I've seen the sweet side of you. You let me in. Why'd you let me in? Why did you tell me about your poetry and Dru? You should hate me, resent me, loathe me. Yet we're friends and once, we were lovers."  
  
His resolve was crumbling and he knew that he had to say something soon or risk losing it completely. "Luv, you're not in the right frame of mind for this. Somethings wrong. So why don't we just sit down, we can talk about this..."  
  
He was cut short by Buffy's lips pressing against his own, forcefully, drawing the breath out of him that he didn't even have. Gripping onto her hips, he let out a guttural growl and ground into her as his tongue plunged into her mouth, fighting for dominance in this fight of passion.   
  
She pinned up against the wall and ripped his shirt off, the kiss never breaking away, each one was seeking solace in the other, and each one knew that this would probably be the all that it would ever be, a solitary cry of passion, for some truth or understanding that they could only gain by giving into their more primitive of emotions.   
  
The emotions that were present of their first time, gentle, tender and loving were not present this time. This was primal, a need that needed to be dealt with as quickly as possible. Their clothes were ripped off of their heated bodies as quickly as they could rip them from one another.   
  
Spike spun around and slammed Buffy up against the cold hard stone, growling against her neck as his vampiric face was showing. "Do you want a monster luv? Did you miss the monster?" With no intention of hurting her he slid his large incisors across the side of her neck, leaving a trail of blood running down that he quickly lapped up. This action elicited a moan from Buffy who writhed under him against the wall.   
  
He had been hurt, she had done so many things to him that had hurt him and she had come crawling to him! Crawling! For as much as he loved her, he loathed her as well. She wanted her monster, well tonight she was going to get her monster.   
  
Her nails dug into his back, tearing at the skin that was back there and the air smelt of sex and blood. She knew what she was doing. She wanted this, needed this. She needed pain, to be pounded into until she cried for more and she knew that Spike would give it to her. She could be brought back into the world of the living, the feeling. She pushed back onto him and he fell, toppling over onto the cement coffin. His body was hard and unyielding and she clung to it like a lifeline.   
  
He pulled back and looked down at her with his yellow eyes and he still saw the animal lusting that laid behind those green orbs. She wasn't even put off by his monster. His heart nearly collapsed for this girl who had been through so much pain and agony. Well he would give her what she wanted. He was her puppy, to be whipped and beaten and used as she deemed fit.  
  
Finally, after a night of lovemaking, in the most animalistic of sense, they both passed out in one another's arms, exhausted, bloody and caked in sweat.  
  
With his last ounce of strength before he passed out, Spike wrapped his tired arms around his lover, holding her close to him, taking solace in the beating of her heart and wished that she could feel the comfort of his as well, but even he didn't get that, he didn't have a heart.   
  
She woke later on, her lover still passed out next to her and she found his arms wrapped around her. She felt safe, comforted, she... felt. Slipping out of his arms as so not to wake him she quickly dressed and as she was heading out of the door she looked back, the place was a mess and she smiled to herself. Walking over to Spike she bent over at the waist and placed a gentle kiss on his lips and whispered, "thank you. Maybe on day I can figure out all of my emotions, but thank you, you have no idea what that meant to me, or what you mean to me. In fact, as soon as I figure it out, I'll let you know." She smoothed his hair that had become tousled and mussed during their fierce lovemaking. Turning she walked out into the sunlight of the day and left her sleeping lover of the night.   
  
  
  
  
  
A.N.: I know that this story has been pretty dark lately, but the mood should pick up soon, maybe. Anyways, review review review! :) 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS or Angel, blah blah blah. They belong to Joss, all bow before Joss.  
  
Author's Notes: Thank you again to those of you who reviewed. I've been having a rough week, one day sick in bed and I got a small bout of writer's block, but I pulled this chapter out, it's a bit more upbeat than the last few, I'm finally starting to pull out of that dark writing mood, yay! Anyways, enjoy!  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Spike woke during the next night to find his arms cold and empty, but he could still smell her lingering throughout the crypt. His angel had come to him and he had torn her apart. In fact, he could still taste the slightest remnant of her blood on his lips. Sighing he leaned his head back down this time onto his arms that he crossed behind his head and stared up at the cement on the top of his crypt. "I'm drownin in you Summers. I'm bloody drownin in ya."  
  
Letting himself up, he walked over to his fridge, opening the door and pulling out a package of blood and tearing into it with his huge incisors. "Bloody hell girl." He put down the package. "Taste of your blood makes a bloke not want to go back."  
  
  
  
Knowing that what had happened the night before was to never happen again, never should have happened in the first place, Buffy felt disgusted with herself, but at the same time, she had never felt this peace that lay inside of her. The memory, memories, of Angel drifted through her head and she felt ashamed, like she had cheated on him, but why? He had left her. She hadn't felt this way with Riley, but then again, with Riley, she hadn't really felt as whole as she had with just one night with Spike.   
  
What if Angel found out? Spike was like his little brother, more technically his grandchild. And she'd slept with him, was married to him in fact, something that she and Angel both had wished would have happened between the two of them, but the curse and Angel's own sense of proper had put a stop to that.   
  
She thought of Angel, his tall, dark, handsome looks. His dark brown eyes always managed to see straight through her and he had been what she had needed, at the age of sixteen. She had desperately been missing her father and according to psychologists (Riley had at one time pointed it out to her) that she had been searching for a father figure in her life. Giles and Angel had made up that father figure. Now it was Giles, he was her father now, because family wasn't about blood, it was about love.   
  
Angel, he was old, very old, and very old fashioned. Could she have a life that she could enjoy if she went back to him? She was constantly brought back into the world of the dark and the sinister by her job and Angel, his soul always kept him there. It was his nature to remain hidden in the shadows. Always about the drama, it was always about the drama. Tears fell freely and often when she was with him, she didn't need that, if she did she would shove a stake through her own heart from depression. As it was she was barely staying afloat.  
  
Spike, on the other hand, was one to live in the 'light.' He was younger and adapted to the ages. He loved life, exploring the nuances of a new era, reveling in the changes. He would forever remain someone who looked for the good in life. Why be immortal and not stay young at heart? With him she would be able to escape the world for periods of time and enjoy herself, like she used to. But Spike also had another side to him. Dynamic in his being he could be caring, or carefree. He knew the difference and when to be which one. Last night, when he held her, grasping, for a brief moment she had seen him look inside of her, see her true being and she had seen sympathy and understanding. Then when she had woken up, his arms wrapped around her, she had just about wept at the caring that he showed in that simple act of wrapping his arms around her.   
  
She walked into the bathroom and turned on the knobs of her shower, letting the water fall in cascades, the steam already rising. Divesting herself of her robe she stepped inside and leaned against the cold tile, imagining it was one of her vampire lovers: Angel in his stern compassion and gentle kisses or Spike in his creative unyielding passion that roped her in and held her there. The heat of the water pounded against her and she closed her eyes, imagining that both of them were there with her now. She switched the water to a colder position and it felt like she was sandwiched between the two; two cold bodies holding one heated one between them. Kisses across her body, the feel of their hardness, hundreds of years of experience and love that the both of them showered upon her and only her. Steam rose from her body and she not once did she let her hands wander to her nether regions, only let them caress her breasts and stomach, imagining they were their hands, everywhere at once.   
  
The room had become a sauna and her moans reverberated off of the tile walls. Both vampires in her mind's eye fought for dominance of the other to claim her as their own. They took turns claiming her, the other one showering her with attentions and both had their teeth deeply imbedded in her neck, bringing her to heights that she had never experienced. The two vampires finished and pulled away from her as she fell over the edge of her orgasm. They kissed her and slowly disappeared from her mind's eye and she was left there, in the shower, completely sated, and from only a fantasy. It had felt so real, and as she let the water continue to run cold over her heated body she sighed. "I'm in trouble."   
  
Quickly finishing her shower, she attempted to rid her mind of her thoughts. If Angel or Spike ever knew... But that wasn't the biggest of her problems. The problem was deciding whom she truly loved, her first love who held her heart, or her newest lover, enemy for so long and her... husband. Both elicited feelings within Buffy, and both she could never truly have a future with; hell, it was the lesser of two evils at this point.  
  
Towel drying her hair as she walked around her home in a white terry cotton robe, she mulled over the problem, over and over. Just when she thought that she had her mind made up something else came up. But the first thing was first, she had to get a divorce. Immediately. Picking up the phone she called Willow, her best friend and the one partially responsible for this whole mess, but she had learned not to hold it against her. A year ago the poor girl had been mourning the loss of Oz, but now she had Tara and she was once again happy.  
  
Willow lay on the bed with her lover, Tara. The silken purple sheets laid askew on the bed as the two women held onto one another, their hands sliding over each other's bodies eliciting moans from one another. Willow's lips moved across her love's neck and down across her collarbone just as the phone started to ring. Sitting up, both girls fixed their hair and as Willow started to ignore Tara pushed her back, a worried, shy look across her face. "W-what i-if i-it's Buffy?"  
  
Smiling and pushing her love's hair back with a deft hand, Willow picked up the phone and smiled. "Hello? Oh hey Buffy. No, you didn't interrupt anything. I promise, now what's going on? Don't pull that, I know you too well, now spill."  
  
  
  
"Okay, well, um, do you remember how I kinda wigged on you like a week or so ago? Well there was a reason for it. Do you remember a year ago when you had just broken up with Oz and you cast that 'Will Be Done' spell and it went kinda... bad? Well apparently your reversal spell didn't quite fix ALL of it." Buffy twirled a piece of damp hair around her finger as she said this to Willow. Sitting down on her bed she waited for Willow's reaction.  
  
  
  
"What do you mean? Buffy, you're getting as bad as Angel when it comes to talking in riddles that no one can understand. It reversed everything. You and Spike went back to your normal bickering, Giles got his sight back and Xander stopped being a demon magnet. I don't see what could have not reversed itself." Willow had a puzzled look on her face and Tara wrapped her arms around her love's waist.  
  
"Well, Spike and I are married." There, she had said it, and now she was waiting for the inevitable laughter that would come across the phone, instead there was only silence, wait, no, there was the laughter. The slayer rolled her eyes and waited for the laughing to subside.  
  
  
  
Finally gaining control of herself Willow took a deep breath and started again to speak, "Buffy, you can't be serious right? I mean married? I did that reversal spell... oh, wait... um... I think I might see now what happened. See, the spell reversal undid everything that I did, but the marriage wasn't part of the spell, you two must have snuck off and done that, right? So it wasn't part of the spell, it still held and well you two are legally married. Strange. And it's too late now to get an annulment, I mean what court would believe that you had no idea you were married for a year and your husband is an evil, soulless, albeit chipped vampire who feeds on blood? Buffy, don't growl at me. I'll see what I can do, maybe I can reverse this whole thing, if not, it's gonna have to be divorce court. I can get one of my friends from mine and Tara's wicca group who is in pre-law to draw up some divorce papers and you and Spike can sign them, then file them with the government and voila, no longer married. Oh, and don't tell Xander." She giggled thinking about what the carpenter's reaction would be, probably one of complete horror.   
  
  
  
Buffy nodded, "Alright Will, oh and one other thing, but it will probably have to wait until you and I can have a girls' night. Um, we just have to talk. My love life needs to be picked apart and then sewn back together."  
  
Promising to get together and talk about Buffy's deterioration love life the two girls hung up the phones. Willow pulled out her magic books and she informed Tara on the newest, disaster, well not disaster, this was more of a misdemeanor as far as disasters were concerned. Buffy, on the other hand got dressed and started to make dinner for her family, her mother and her sister.   
  
On the other side of town however, Spike was drowning his sorrows in another bottle of Jack Daniels, his leather duster throw haphazardly across his TV. "Can't be what she wants. Can't be her bloody Angel. Can't ever be bloody good enough!"   
  
He looked around, things had been quiet since he had dusted Harmony and the vampire wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. "Hell, I wonder how my bleedin poof of sire, Peaches, is doin? Probably havin a good ole time in sunny LA, with all them actors and actresses, just begging for savin, probably doing his soul good to save all them... souls. And Cordelia! Now that's a pairing. Two brunettes, now she'd be good for him, maybe give him some fashion sense, the bleedin poof could use it too. Maybe pull him into the 21st century with the rest of us. And 'ell, even I could see that she's got a killer body. He never had good luck with those blondes anyhow, Darla and Buffy and all. Should show a bloke not to go chasin after them blonde, gonna get him into trouble. In fact, I should make a point of visitin good ole Angel one 'o these days, maybe tell him the error of his ways, oh now that'd be fun." His speech was getting slurred and he stood up on shaky legs, parading around his crypt, continuing on with his speech directed at no one. "Bet that pofta would love ta hear his precious little Buffy is married to bloody ole me. That'd just be... peachy. And you know what? I'm gonna show um both, both him and his high and mighty princess. I'm gonna show um just what ole Spikey is. I'm gonna be the man that she wants, that he isn't. I'm gonna do it and she's gonna come runnin into me arms and I'm gonna have me one good day. Cause that's all I really need, just one good day. And it'd make it all worth it. Yup, gonna have me one good day." He grinned and looked around at the empty crypt for someone to laugh with him and he sat down deterred from his speech after the realization hit him that the whole thing was futile. "Bloody 'ell, I need a dog. And I'm gonna git me one, just as soon as I... wake up..." His head fell back and he promptly passed out in his recliner, bottle still held tightly in his hand, muttering to himself, "One good day, one good day, that's all I want, it's all I need... all I need... Buffy..."  
  
A.N. *begging* please review!!! 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Joss, you are God and you own all rights to BtVS, and I love you for coming up with this idea, just gonna borrow it for my own pleasures for a bit, I promise, all credit is to you!  
  
Also, Alison Krauss owns the song "Moments Like This" which I used in this chapter  
  
Author's Notes: I need to be beaten for not updating sooner, but I so could not think! Plus I had to work... a lot. And one can never underestimate the use of the right music to inspire a writer. I hope that all of you enjoy this newest chapter. Please review, I've been lonely with how little reviews I've been getting.  
  
Chapter 9  
  
"Mom! I'm going out!" Buffy pulled on her sleek leather jacket and adjusted her black silk shirt so that it lay just right against her toned stomach and slight bust.   
  
"Alright dear. Have fun, Dawn and I are just gonna stay in and have some ice cream and movies." Joyce smiled at her oldest daughter as she walked out into the living room. Her little Buffy was all grown up now, she didn't have to worry, but she did. There were so many things that could happen to her daughter with her line of profession... a vampire slayer. But she had a feeling that Buffy was starting to realize the better things in life, and at least she had her friends.  
  
Buffy smiled at her mom and walked outta the house. Her heels clicked against the pavement as she walked down to her and her friend's favorite hang out, the Bronze, primarily the only real place to hang out in Sunnydale. It would be good to go back again, she hadn't been going there a whole lot lately like she used to and every time that she went back it felt like she was home again. And tonight, she was going alone. She wasn't sure why, but she had to go alone.   
  
  
  
Spike sat up by the bar, his own alcoholic resources having been deteriorated quite severely by his sudden binge drinking. Didn't help that he was a vampire and the drunkenness never lasted for very long. He would cease to feel and then the feelings would come rushing back again, bringing friends each time. Now he was nursing a glass of imported beer, English, naturally. He just stared down into the amber color that swirled and foamed in his glass. How could he have been so stupid to let himself work all the way up to these feelings. For Godsakes he was a vampire and she was the bloody Slayer!   
  
But then he remember the feel of her. Her soft mouth pressing against his, seeking solace in him, the feelings just floating beneath the surface and he remembered why he was so immersed in this golden angel, just as Angel had been, and most likely always would be.  
  
Pushing the glass away he turned around in his seat and watched the people, dancing, laughing, loving, and he watched the people coming into the club, all with someone. It made a bloke sick, sick with envy. The song ended and everyone in the place applauded the group, giving them a moment to gear up before the next song.   
  
Continuing to observe the people in the area Spike leaned back and for a moment he thought that had seen his angel. This woman was wearing all black. Black flared dress pants that cupped her ass and slid seductively down her toned legs, a black top that seemed to have forgotten a sleeve on one side and the one sleeve that was there traversed all the way down the woman's arm with slight pieces of material floating freely on the sleeve and the shirt clung against her toned upper body and delicious peaks and finally the black high heeled stiletto heels that added some height to her small frame and non imposing height. The only thing about her that added color to her black wardrobe was her glowing hair and skin, each golden. A golden goddess in her own right, but she had come in alone, certainly not his goddess, for she always had her scoobies near to where she was.   
  
Then she turned around and it was her. The woman who had haunted his dreams, his every waking though for days. It was Buffy, his goddess of light. She spotted him just as he spotted her and he couldn't help it, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her.   
  
The room seemed to go quiet and all there was was them. Buffy would never know what made her go over to him, but she did, slow and seductively, swinging her hips just right until she was standing face to face with him. She didn't know what to say, if there even were words that she could say. There was an attraction between the two of them. Two souls pulled together. The music began and Spike stood up, holding out his hand to the woman in front of him.  
  
His voice was soft as he greeted her and asked her the simple question, "Well luv, I should think that perhaps you would be interested in a dance?" He held out his pale white hand and she stared at it.   
  
"Y-y-yes... I would like that." She took his hand and he led her out to the dance floor, the music floating around the two of them.  
  
While the dying world redefines the reasons we strive to exist  
  
We feign control though we're bound to learn the meaning of moments like this  
  
Cause in the peaceful hour, the quiet spell  
  
Seduced by the promise of bliss, we soon forget that nothing's happened yet  
  
We're living for moments like this.  
  
He held her protectively, lovingly, and breathing in her scent, that scent that was unique only to her. The lyrics weren't lost on Spike, but he was too involved with this angel that he held in his arms to completely comprehend them at that very moment.  
  
"You know luv, I'm not as bad as you may think I am."  
  
Buffy lay her head on his shoulder and only sighed in response to his statement. She had yet to say something to him, and she knew that she had to, but the thoughts that swirled through her head just were not making sense, it was all so confusing, and now she was here, in her enemy's arms.  
  
So hold me, whisper gently this is what we live for, how we learn who we are  
  
It defines us, ever reminding us that life never is more precious than this  
  
She listened the lyrics of the song, the beat of the musical rhythm as her body was molded against the hard marble of Spike's body. So safe in his arms, she comfortable, she fit just perfectly.   
  
He kissed her neck and whispered to her, "You don't have to speak luv. I understand, it's strange for me too, but this is more than I could ever ask for, holding you in my arms like this. I need to tell you this. I've never felt this way before, not even with Dru, you're showing me a side of myself I never knew was there."  
  
From the dim light in the grayness, the aim of the soul tends to miss  
  
When the clouds catch fire and the oceans pitch  
  
We're made for the moments like this  
  
She knew his words were genuine and she ached to return those gentle word with gentle words of her own, but the thought of Angel still hung about her head, and what he friends would think. They could never accept her and Spike, they were fearful enough about Angel, and he had a soul. They might shun her, kick her out of their lives. It was best only to have stolen moments in the arms of this man. Her voice was so light and so quiet that only his vampiric hearing allowed Spike to pick it up. "You make me feel alive... more so than I already am."  
  
He smiled and pushed her hair back, whispering back to her. "And you make me feel like a man, I feel more alive with you that I did when I was human."  
  
So hold me, whisper gently that there's nothing to fear  
  
You'll always be near, to remind me, to stand behind me  
  
Although life can be rough we can never give up  
  
She found her voice, but still kept it low and soft as she pulled her head back to look him in the eyes. His ice blue eyes looked deep into her green orbs and she could feel the tears welling in them. "This can't be real. If they find out... If Angel finds out..." Her chin dropped, almost in defeat, she didn't want to look into his eyes anymore and see the love that was shining from them.  
  
He sighed and picked her chin back up with his gentle touch. "There's nothing to be afraid of luv. If you only want this to be in the moment, I'm fine with that. But I'm always gonna be here for you. Don't cry luv, I'm here for you, no matter what. Always here for you."  
  
It's in our power to face the storm with all its fury and madness  
  
The flash of thunder roll behind us with a longing and sadness  
  
The clouds will break.  
  
Buffy sighed and let a gentile hand slide down his chiseled cheek. "We've fought, against one another, with one another and for one another. We're going up against Glory, and I have no idea what she is, but she's stronger than me. We're fighters, we weren't meant to love and I'm realizing that. I wasn't meant to love Angel, Riley and I'm not meant to love now. And I'm afraid that I'm not gonna be able to save everyone this time." Her eyes sought out comfort in his and he only looked at her with love, adoration and a touch of sympathy.   
  
She was in pain, and it tore him up inside. He didn't know what he could do to help her, but he would find some way to do it, even if it meant traveling into hell and back. That Glory, whatever the hell she was, she had power, he had seen that himself. But she was right. "There is a storm coming, and I'll be there next to you. We'll fight the storm together."  
  
Hold me. Whisper gently this is what we live for, how we learn how we are  
  
It defines us, ever reminding us that life never is more precious than this  
  
Hold me. Whisper gently that there's nothing to fear,   
  
You'll always be near, to remind me, stand behind me  
  
Although life can be rough we can never give up.   
  
They clung to one another now, neither one speaking. His words had touched her and she feared that the tears would fall right where she stood. This was what she lived for, moments, stolen in time. This was her life, this was who she was. She was independent, as was he. They both lived for the moments. And she knew, being held in his arms that there wasn't anything to fear, not even death. She couldn't give up, not like she had been thinking of, had wanted. Life is hard, but she had to fight for love, for moments, for the world.  
  
As the song ended, the didn't tear away from one another, but pulled back only slightly, looking into one another's eyes again. Spike letting his hand rest on her cheek, pulled her closer to him and leaned down, kissing her lightly, his lips just barely brushing against hers. He could feel the tears splash on his skin, though he didn't know if they were hers or his own tears. Pulling away he gave her hand a gentle squeeze and flashed her a sincere smile as he walked outta the Bronze, leaving her standing there, her tears falling down her face, watching her husband leave and knowing in her heart of hearts that this would all be alright.  
  
TBC... 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Spike or any of the others. Phooey.  
  
Author's Notes: Things are a little bit lighter and I've got an idea of where I'm going with this, so if it seems a little slow, I promise that there is more action to come, and soon. Especially when Angel finds out... hehehe  
  
Chapter 10  
  
Sitting with her legs crossed and in her oversized flannel pajamas, Willow Rosenberg sat on the floor in front of Buffy's CDs, going through them and just shaking her head and her friend's poor selection of music. Didn't she have anything classical or thought provoking?   
  
Turning around she smiled at her best friend for five years now as she walked into the room wearing a white tank top and light blue pajama pants that hung on her waist. For a couple weeks now, Willow could sense that Buffy had something weighing on her mind, but what it was, was a mystery to the young woman. Tonight was the night that she was going to get to the bottom of it though. Buffy had arranged this night, just her and Willow to have a heart to heart girl talk, complete with goofy fun times.   
  
"Okay, so spill. You said something about picking your love life apart and sewing it back together?"  
  
There was a pounding her Buffy's closed, and locked, door. "Buffy! What are you guys doing in there? Come on, I wanna come in!" Dawn, Buffy's younger sister whined through the door and Buffy rolled her eyes, Willow just giggled.  
  
"No! Go away Dawn! We talked about this!" There was stomping and most likely pouting going on outside the door as they heard Dawn walk away, and then slam the door to her room next door.   
  
Buffy sat up on her bed and hugged Mr. Gordo close to her chest as she sighed. "She is so annoying sometimes. It's like she wants to be all grown up, but I mean, I would love to be her age, innocent and not having to deal with everything that I'm dealing with right now, and you're right, I did say that we were going to pick apart my love life. Oh and thanks for getting those paper for me. I dropped them off by Spike's, but he wasn't there. But I signed them and all, so he should be getting them back to me soon enough and then I won't have this nagging little voice in the back of my head going 'hi Mrs. Evans.' all the bloody time!"  
  
Willow raised an eyebrow. Since when did Buffy start using English slang? "So, spill the beans then Buff. What's the big thing in your love life lately? I mean I know that we haven't talked about Riley leaving and all yet and as far as I know you don't have a love interest right now unless it's Spike…" Looking at her friend's face, something told her that it just might be. "Spike? You're kidding right? Buffy! It's Spike! Evil, soulless, chipped, albeit cuter and those chiseled cheekbones that just make you want to trace them with your finger nails with abs the exact same way…" Willow as trailing off and as she looked up, her face was bright crimson. "That is if you liked guys, which I don't, full lesbian here. I like the chicks."  
  
Buffy couldn't contain herself and started laughing uncontrollably. "Willow! What if Tara heard you! Talking about a guy like that… shame on you." She reined in her giggles then and set her resolve face. "But seriously here, Spike is a nice guy, and well, more so lately. I've been seeing a different side of him. And I start thinking, well maybe Spike would make a good boyfriend and I want to kick my own ass six ways from Sunday. And the thought of Angel also comes up, I mean. It's Angel. Deep, soulful, handsome, chivalrous…"  
  
"Broody, dark, cursed, lives in Los Angeles, with Cordelia, doesn't call or write Angel," Willow finished for her. Since Angel had left Willow had been dead set against the relationship ever starting back up again. All Angel was, was someone who made Buffy cry and made her absolutely miserable. "Face it Buffy, what you had with Angel is over. He's cursed with a soul that if he ever has the big happy again, he's gonna lose and try to kill you, again. Now the way I'm seeing it, if I look at this logically is… Angel has the whole curse thing going on, Riley wasn't enough for you. Riley just wasn't the man that you needed, cause well, you were like ten times his man. But Spike, he is a non-having soul type of vamp, but he isn't trying to kill you, hell, he's even helping you. He helped you when Angel went all bad, and he's been helping you since that whole chipped thing."  
  
Buffy sat quiet as Willow worked through her logic. Best thing about Willow, she looked at everything logically, unless it was with her own feelings, then Willow as just as much of a basket case as the rest of them were.   
  
"And you have to admit, Spike is hot, if you like guys, and he's funny. Admit it, I've seen you laughing with him more than once. Plus, the whole vamp thing, that's a good thing for you, right?"  
  
Buffy sighed, it was the same thing that Riley had said, she was drawn to monsters, but you know, she wasn't exactly normal either. He power was rooted in darkness, so why should it bother her, if it made her happy? "Willow, I just don't know, I mean, if I started dating Spike… maybe he doesn't even want to date me, do I even want to date him? And Angel… I still have this whole thing for Angel. Maybe I'm crazy, but this whole thing is just getting to me. And remembering how good Spike feels…" She'd let it slip, how the hell could she have let it slip? Now Willow knew that she'd slept with Spike. And the worst part was, she'd not only done it once, but twice and fantasized about it since then.   
  
"You mean you and Spike? Oh God! Buffy!"   
  
"Well the first time was during that whole spell, and then the second time…"  
  
"There was a SECOND TIME?!"  
  
"The second time was not too long ago, I hit complete rock bottom and I went to him, and well, it was kinda rough, but it helped snap me outta whatever I had been in."  
  
"You mean to tell me that that's why you recovered… Oh Goddess…"  
  
"And well, the other day, I had this fantasy, and it was just so real, I was between Spike and Angel…"  
  
"I DON'T want to hear anymore… I really don't, this is overloading my brain as it is."  
  
"I'm sorry Will, I mean I know that it was wrong and all…"  
  
"No it wasn't wrong, just surprising, and you never told me?! This is just like the time with Angel. Hello, best friend here, I'm supposed to know about this stuff right away!"  
  
Buffy giggled and pouted. "I'm sorry Will, I promise that when I get married… again. You'll be the first to know. Or the next time I have sex, I'll just call you right from the bed."  
  
Now it was Willow's turn to giggle and within minutes they were rolling on the ground in a fit of giggles, neither one able to control themselves and each one getting a respective knot in their sides.   
  
Spike entered his crypt and looked around, he'd been beside himself ever since that night at the Bronze. He didn't know what to do. He knew that he loved the girl, stupid as that may seem to him, he knew that he did and there was just no turning back from that. The only problem seemed to lay with figuring out how to go about making her his. She was an independent spirit, anyone could see that and she was hurting. Years of moronic bloody poofters building her up and then droppin her off of a ten-story building had crushed her trust in men, let alone vamps.   
  
Sitting on the top of his TV were a stack of white papers that caught his eye. Walking over to them, he picked up the pile and sat down in his recliner to read them. What he saw crushed him. He'd had a little bit of hope before. Being married to Buffy was a dream come true, almost, if he could get her to come around. He was married, to the woman who haunted his dreams, his golden goddess. And now this, divorce papers, which signified to Spike that there was no chance, she didn't even take the time to give them to him herself.   
  
"Well bloody buggerin hell! If she wants to be bloody divorced, I'll give her a bloody divorce, take half of her stuff." He raised the pen to sign it and stopped. "Or I couldn't, refuse to sign them, drag her off to marriage counseling, listen to some big know it all talk about how we need to rekindle the romance. Piss her off all right and proper. I'm not gonna play her games, it's time she played mine."  
  
He tossed the papers over onto the ground and leaned back, turning on the TV, grinning. "Time for my telly, make sure that Timmy is okay and all, oh and Chastity goes for that bloke."  
  
  
  
"Maybe you're right Willow, maybe I will give it shot with Spike, I mean what harm could it do? He's chipped so he can't bite me… just break my heart, and I've had plenty of experience with that, so no need to worry there. All right, I'll do it, bearing that he doesn't piss me off in the next few days. We'll get divorced and start over, build something. I mean Angel had his chance, and it's not like he's knocking down my door for another chance."  
  
Willow smiled at her friend. There was a light in Buffy's eyes again. The thought of her dating Spike was gonna be a shocker for a lot of people though. "Let's give it a bit Buffy, we'll talk with Xander and Giles, get them all okay with the idea before we go rushing off and doing something that would just confuse them outta their heads and make Xander run off doing the Snoopy Dance and babbling like an idiot."  
  
"Oh God! You're right! Giles and Xander… and my mom! And Dawn, Dawn'll kill me."  
  
"Why is Dawn going to kill you?"  
  
"Cause she has a crush on Spike! It like transferred from Xander to Spike and it's just wrong, I mean she's not even really a teen yet, she is, but she isn't and Xander's too old for her and Spike is just whoa… that's WAY too old. I mean he's too old for me even, but I have experience with older men, at least he's not Angel's age…"  
  
Buffy would have kept going if Willow hadn't slammed her hand over her mouth. "Buffy! Calm down, we'll get everything all hunky dory and you and Spike will be able to go around making googly eyes at one another all that you want. At least Spike and Xander have some history what with Spike having lived with Xander and all. And hey, he doesn't hate Spike as much as he does Angel…"  
  
Buffy raised an eyebrow at her best friend, but shrugged. She pushed Willow's hand away. "I'm good. Really, I am. Now can we please move on? I have chocolate." She grinned at Willow and Willow just shook her head, giggling again. It felt like old time back in high school, just hanging out, if Xander had been here, there it really would have felt like high school again, except for the whole her being a lesbian now and no more Oz or Angel, or Cordelia. Okay so maybe not exactly like high school, but close enough to bring back all those good memories and escape the reality of the impending doom upon all of them that was rapidly approaching with Glory.  
  
TBC.... 


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS... yadda yadda yadda  
  
Author's Notes: I am SO SORRY that I haven't updated in such a long time. I have had school and vacations and deadlines and just utter lack of willing to sit down at my computer and type. But I apologize and here, chap. 11. Oh and please review... please?  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Glory wandered around her large penthouse sized apartment, ranting and raving about having not found her Key yet. Her curly hair stuck out in frazzles as she pulled and tore at it, stomping her feet and pouting, like the spoiled brat that she was. "Why haven't you found me my key yet? You know I need that key." Flopping down onto her bed she looking at her minions who cowered before her gaze.  
  
"Sorry oh great, patient, beauteous, luscious, succulent, effervescent..."  
  
"Enough! You pack of mewling little pests. Just tell me where my God damn key is!"  
  
"Sorry oh mighty Glorificus, but we have yet to find your key. Perhaps you should visit the Slayer, for certainly she will know where your key is that will guide us all home to your reign as Goddess of your world and you shall once and for all be rid of Ben, that mortal coil that has kept you..."  
  
"Ben... yes... Ben... He is an attractive human... for a human. Perhaps he can talk with the Slayer, hell, for all I care he could bang the key outta her... BUT! In case that doesn't work out... I want you guys to watch the slayer. Tell me who she's close to. I want to know about everything that she does!" She smirked and pulled off her red silk pumps, looking at her delicate ankle. "I WILL have my key, and there is no way in hell I am gonna let that little sniveling slayer figure out its other use."  
  
Storming around his crypt like a madman Spike finally stopped and picked up the divorce papers once again. The words that stared up at him were like a slap in the face. "She thinks that she can just use me anytime that she wants? That I'm here to help her and her little Scoobies, that all I'm bloody good for is scratching those itches that she can't get on her own. God, can't even bleedin come down here and give it to my face. The stupid bint. Then again…" The pounding on the crypt door interrupted his train of thought and he glared at the offending noise. "Who the bloody hell is it?!"   
  
"Let me in Spike! We NEED to talk!"   
  
His angel's voice floated through the thick door and all thought of his being made at her faded. He wanted to curse and flog himself right there on the spot. "God I'm such a bloody nancy boy." Striding across the floor he ran his fingers through his hair and gave her a glaring smile. "What do you want Slayer?"  
  
His words stung, but what had she done to him lately. That was when she noticed the crumpled sheets of paper over by the television. He didn't take kindly to the divorce papers apparently. "Um, did you um sign the papers? You know I just figured that we'd separate and all, no use in being married when we can barely stand each other right?" Her words were shakey and unsure as she looked into his ice blue orbs that glared down at her.   
  
"Whatever. I'll sign the bloody papers Summers, but for a price. Every bloke has his price. Cause if I remember correctly I'm entitled to half of everything that you own." His eyes glinted as he stared at her. He enjoyed this toying, the dance, always around and around, neither one able to outwit the other, but the wounds always cutting deep, leaving the other hungering for more.   
  
"Name it Spike, what do you want?" She rolled her eyes. He could be so aggravating sometimes, always with his pompous attitude and those hard features staring so intently at her.   
  
The smirk only grew larger as the perfect thing came to Spike's mind. Softly and seductively he leaned down and whispered into her ear, "I want your blood." And he left it at that, slowly straitening back up.  
  
Buffy's eyes grew wide as she felt his unneeded breath on her neck, sending shivers down her spine. "Same old song eh Spike? Woulda thought that you would have been more original. Always with the "you will die" or "I will spill your blood". God, be an original vamp."  
  
He chuckled and leaned against the wall of his crypt, still smirking. He looked at her from under his eyes, that sinister smile creeping over his face. "I don't want you dead Summers, on the contrary. You misunderstand my request. I want to taste you, revel in you. I want to taste your sweet blood coursing down my throat as you writhe under me. I want to dip my fangs into your delectable neck, drawing out your pleasure, make you scream. I want to mark you as mine. It's only fair… You've already marked me as yours."  
  
"What in the world are you talking about Spike? I marked you?" His words left goose bumps on her flesh and a warmth that spread throughout her nether regions. The request had been so, sincere and as he looked at her, she felt like she was naked before him, like he could take her right there.  
  
"Yes, you marked me. You have my heart. I reek of you Summers; I'm bloody drowning in you. You let Angelus mark you, as well as Dracula and the Master, why not me? Just one more mark…" He moved to her, pushing her hair out of the way. He leaned down and gently kissed her neck. "You know you want to. I can smell you…"  
  
"I… I… Oh… God… Spike." Buffy let her head roll back as he ran his tongue along her collarbone and nipping ever so gently.   
  
"Say you'll agree love and I'll sign those papers and this whole menagerie will be done. Well go our separate ways." Running a hand up the back of her shirt and the other up the front of her thigh, he could sense her losing it. Her control was slipping steadily away and soon she would be in his complete control, what was strange to Spike was that she wasn't fighting it; she wasn't even trying anymore.  
  
"I… yes Spike… I… I want… I want you to… bite me…" Green orbs met blue ones and no more words were needed. Spike swept his angel up into his arms and carried her over to his bed. Today would be different. Today he would take it slow. Something in him told him that this might be the last time he would ever be this close to her and he wanted her to know just what he felt for her.   
  
As she lay in his arms she trailed her fingers over his chest and up over his face, tracing his face, the high, chiseled cheekbones and the pale skin that gleamed like ivory. He was beautiful, in everyway. He might not have had a soul, but she could see his heart. It was in this moment that as she stared up at this caring man who held her so gently and laid her softly upon the bed that she felt something had really changed between them. No longer was he the evil creature that he was, but he was something more. He was truly a man, and a man that she could grow to love, if she didn't already. She felt safe in his arms, but never without excitement. She wanted to love this man that stared down at her, who with deft fingers was ridding her of her blouse and laying sweet kisses upon her newly exposed skin.   
  
Concentrating hard on his task at hand, Spike slipped her blouse off and tossed it across the room, sliding his fingers and lips across her milky skin. Her breath was already deep and sensual, music to his ears. And her heart beat wildly against her chest, her excitement mounting. Had Spike known better he would have thought that she enjoyed this. Stopping to slip her shirt off her leaned back down, applying his ministrations back to her neck, the sole reason for these actions today, while his hands gleaned over her globes, caressing them through her silky, sheer bra. Her body reacted to his ministrations, and her nipples formed hard little pebbles, jutting out towards him, eager to be touched. Reaching behind her with one hand he nimbly divested her of the slight material that was her bra.  
  
Gazing up at him with half-lidded eyes and ran her own hands down her body and then moved them to his hips, caressing his thighs, his ass and ever so casually along the front of his jeans that were already strained. Her slight fingers undid his button and slid his zipper down, slowly, deliberately taking her time. Pushing his pants down with her feet she exposed him to her and smiled deliciously at him. "I think I'm a little overdressed…"  
  
His smirk only grew larger as he quickly ripped her skirt and panties off her body leaving her stark naked in front of him. "Better? Now hush, luv. I don't wanna hear another word out of you unless it's my name. Got that?"  
  
She squirmed under his gaze, but nodded in understanding. She was giving up complete control to a vampire, a vampire who had been her enemy for years, and here she was, back where she always seemed to end up, in his bed, naked, before him.   
  
Back to his previous task, Spike slipped down between her legs and flicked an idle finger across her aching clit before kissing her nether lips gently in a delicate fashion, almost like a butterfly kiss. Her gasp was enough to tell him that she enjoyed it. Spreading her legs open further he slid his tongue slowly inside of her, probing her, tasting her sweet ambrosia. This truly was the taste of the Gods, and he did want to drown in her, take her to new heights that she had never experienced before.   
  
His fingers continued to twist and flick at her clit as his tongue swirled inside of her, probing, loving, tasting. Her moans grew louder and louder until the earth shattering scream echoed through the crypt as she hit her first orgasm as Spike twisted her clit hard in his fingers. Moving back up along her body he left gentle kisses along her stomach and across the concave of her breasts, finally kissing her deeply and passionately, letting her taste herself on his tongue. He pushed her hair back and caressed her cheek with his thumb, looking down into the green depths that stared back up at him with a hungry desire.   
  
"Did you enjoy that, luv?" His own member was straining hard away from his body, eager to seek its own release. "It's not over yet…"  
  
He pushed her legs far open and leaned in, letting his tip brush across her velvety folds and watching her face all the while. Slowly pushing forward he let himself be swallowed up by her depths and gripped like a vice inside of her scalding heat.   
  
Breaths coming deep and fast Buffy couldn't tear her eyes away from the man that moved inside of her with such a passion and such love. Looking at him she could see that he was doing this all for her, the deliberate movements that would hit her just right, the way he sacrificed his own pleasure for hers. He filled her so completely and for once, since Angel, she truly felt that she could be loved and in turn love in return. As he leaned down and licked across her neck she couldn't help but shiver, that one action was more sensual than all of the other actions. He was going to mark her as his own. His. Why did that action seem so erotic to her?  
  
He felt close to his breaking point and as his suckled her neck he let his features shift over to that of his demon, his incisors elongating, preparing for just the right moment. He would have her come with him. Reaching down he tweaked her clit and he felt her clench around him and her inner walls begin to flutter in orgasm. Letting himself fall over the edge with her, he let his teeth sink in her neck, the blood flowing into his mouth, filling him. Never had he tasted something so sweet, so wonderful. And with no intent to hurt her, the chip had never activated, he could never hurt his angel. The blood continued to flow as did their orgasms and it wasn't until their final throws of passion had ended did Spike release his bite.   
  
The blood continued to seep from the wound in Buffy's neck, but Spike, gentle as could be, lapped up the pools that formed there. Buffy weakly wrapped her arms around him, holding him to her. She kissed the top of his head and smiled, slowly drifting off into a peaceful sleep as Spike continued to doctor her wounds with his tongue.   
  
Buffy whispered one last thing before sleep overtook her. "Yours…"  
  
TBC... 


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I get it, I don't own these characters... so stop hounding me!  
  
Author's Notes: For those of you who are wondering why it has taken so long for me to update this story, the answer it simple. No reviews. I don't feel the need to supply chapters if I get nothing in return. So Please, I'm begging here, if you want to see more of this story, please review.  
  
Chapter 12  
  
Waking early, before his love who lay next to him, her legs entwined with his, Spike gingerly moved her so as not to wake her and slipped out of the comfort of his bed. Picking up the discarded papers he sat down in his chair and picked up the pen, signing each dotted line that required his signature. His heart broke as he did so. With each page another tear would fall, splattering onto the paper. She didn't want him, she never would, and no matter what he said, he would always give her what she wanted. If she wanted him to stake himself, he most likely would, just to make her happy.   
  
He looked over at the sleeping woman that lay in his bed and sighed. Her golden blonde locks fell haphazardly across her face and her arms held the sheets clutch up against her breast in such an innocent fashion. And there, right on her neck, overlapping all of the other bites was his, his claim upon her and also his gift to her to let her go, to let her have her life. He could still feel her blood coursing through him, singing to him, every fiber of his being alive with her blood. It was intoxicating.  
  
He got up from the chair and set the papers, now completely signed next to his love and grabbed his leather duster. "Well luv, I've got some business that I've gotta attend to. I'll be back, not sure when, but then again, it's not like you care too much." He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and pushed back her hair. "I love you Buffy." With that he was gone, seeking the solace of what was left of the night to make his escape from Sunnydale.  
  
  
  
A chill night wind woke Buffy from her sleep. Instead of feeling marble like flesh flushed up against her body, all she felt was alone, that chill crept up her spine that she had once again been abandoned.   
  
Rolling over she felt the crinkle of paper against her. She reached over and pulled the offending articles out from behind her. The divorce papers, now signed, stared up at her. Spike's blazing signature stood out in his Old English scripture. But there were also spots that she could make out where the ink had run with tears. He had been crying when he signed these; Spike had been crying. As she looked over the papers, the realization that she had actually gone through with the divorce to the marriage that should have never happened began to sink in, and she felt horrid for it.  
  
Fluttering out of the stacks was a note, again in Spike's delicate scripture. It still amazed Buffy how such a brazen, uncouth guy like Spike could spend so much time on such meticulous writing, she still denied that he had been a poet, because the thought was just too strange.   
  
Sitting up to gain some better light, Buffy began to read the letter that was addressed to her.  
  
  
  
My dearest Buffy,  
  
As you are reading this, I know that you have now noticed my absence upon your awakening. I apologize for that love, but had I stayed to see you wake, seen your eyes open, still heavy with sleep, seen you at your most beautiful, I would have been rendered unable to leave your arms and this pain, which has taken to breaking my heart. You see, I had to leave, I don't belong here, not yet at least. Trust me when I say that last night meant so much to me. You will forever hold my heart for all of eternity and that's a long time for a vampire. You have been the light in my darkness. You've given me so much. I know I'm just some evil, soulless thing, but you treat me like a man, and I love you for that, I truly do. I believe in you; if I don't make it back before that final battle with Glory goes down, I want you to know that I believe in you. You will find a way to beat that Super Bitch down. Don't worry about where I've gone though, you shouldn't waste your thoughts on me.  
  
Buffy's own tears were now falling unchecked down her face as she continued to read what might be the last thing she ever saw of Spike. From enemies to lovers and then to something that she couldn't quite define, but they were something, there was something between the two of them. And now he had left as well.  
  
This world is hard, harder for your because you can never escape it and you can never let go of the evil that binds you to your position. At times it can feel like you're not even living and you have to have that violence to pull you back. But now I'm starting to channel good ole' William the Bloody poet, so its time for me to stop and just end this letter.   
  
These past few months, you have been my everything and I know what it is like to feel peace. You have made me believe that I have a purpose again, that I can do something with this cursed life. Thank you. Oh, I have signed the papers, obviously, I shoved this letter in them, but I have given you what you asked for, we are no longer held together by the bond of marriage, but in fairness, we are still bonded through the claiming we preformed last night. I should go now if I want to have any time before the sun rises. Adieu sweet sun. May your light never go out.   
  
  
  
Love,  
  
William "Spike"  
  
P.S. I will return to you.  
  
Buffy let the tears run as she stared at the letter, the ink now running from her tears. "Oh Spike. I never wished you gone. I want, I need you here, by my side. Why is it that all of the men in my life somehow manage to leave me?" She touched the two puncture marks on the side of her neck and sighed. "Please come back soon."  
  
Collecting her belongings she dressed and left the crypt, papers and letter clutched in hand, while Spike, curled in his blacked out DeSoto, found a dark alley to hide away from the sun until its dangerous rays receded from the harsh light of day.  
  
Spike pulled the picture of Buffy from his duster pocket, the only one he had managed to filch and keep. The picture and its curled, rough edges made his unbeating heart ache. She was smiling up at the camera with a grin that spread across her face in the sexiest fashion while her eyes shone like liquid mercury, the light reflecting off of them. She was laying on the ground, the grass surrounding her, her hair slightly tousled and her skin gleamed in the sunlight, each crevice of her body alight with the sun's rays that he avoided to such harsh degree. She wore a white tank top that rode up slightly, showing off her toned stomach and her faded blue jeans lay low on her hips. Everything about her was gorgeous, and had been lucky enough to have a part of her light. He wasn't going to be a poofter and screw it up like Angel though. He was going to become the man that she wanted him, needed him to be. Sure, he may be love's bitch, but at least he was man enough to admit it.  
  
As Buffy reached her home, she walked up the stairs to her room, right past Dawn. Dawn looked at her sister and cocked her head over to the side. "Buffy?"  
  
It was as though she hadn't even heard her, the door to her room clicked shut behind her, and Dawn could hear her sister's sobs, heart wrenching cries of a broken heart.   
  
Dawn knew that he sister had been gone during the night, but what had occurred she could only imagine. The was when she heard the muffled sob, which held a name on Buffy's tongue.  
  
"Spike..."  
  
Dawn gasped audibly. How? No... It wasn't possible, it couldn't be Spike. Could it? She ran out of the house, bent for Spike's crypt. She knew that Spike had been in love with Buffy, and she accepted that, she even accepted that he would never see her as she saw him, but she needed to know though, what had taken place with Spike that had left her sister but an empty shell. All of the worst possible situations flew through her head. Had someone killed him? Did Buffy kill him? Did he do something to Buffy? She reached the crypt and went to open the door; however, she noticed the bare spot where Spike typically parked his old DeSoto that Dawn just thought was the coolest car and she realized, that that was it... he had left. He'd just left, without even tell her goodbye. This had to somehow be Buffy's fault. Buffy always somehow screwed up everything for her, and now she had chased off one of her only friends.  
  
Turning dejectedly around she began the trek home.   
  
Two yellow eyes watched her as she walked and just as the vampire was ready to attack the sweet little brunette, he exploded into a cloud of dust.  
  
A dark figure was left standing there as the dust cleared. Stepping out from the bushes and into the path of Dawn, he shoved his hands into his pockets. "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to go out so late?"  
  
Dawn looked up from her feet and gasped, the scream held in her throat. "Oh God!"   
  
TBC... 


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of BtVS/Angel and I don't own the rights to Staind or their song Warm Safe Place.  
  
Author's Notes: Thank you to those of you who reviewed! I really appreciate it! But here's a chapter, it was interesting, I'm starting to pull things all together to lead up to this huge climax and well, it's just gonna keep building now.  
  
Chapter 13  
  
"What are you doing here?" Dawn's fear had subsided to anger as she stared at the figure with a hateful gaze. "Thought that you were gonna just go and never come back."  
  
"Dawn... don't... I'm here to see..."  
  
"Well she doesn't want to see you, so why don't you just go back to Los Angeles and get over this whole thing. You left her!" Dawn crossed her arms in front of her and went to walk around him.  
  
"Dawn, Buffy's in trouble, isn't she? Something named Glorificus?" He moved closer to the young girl, his hand out, trying to reassure her.  
  
"What about Glory? You can't do anything to help, you're just some vampire, Spike couldn't do anything..."  
  
"Spike? He's here? He's helping? Where is he?"  
  
"Whoa! Hold up! He left..." Her voice took a sad tone to it. "He left... and what's it to you Angel?!"  
  
He finally stepped far enough into the light and closer to Dawn. "He's evil and soulless and he needs to be killed Dawn, he's an animal..."  
  
She glared and pushed him as best her arms could. "You're the animal! He may not have a soul, but he's still a good man, he's my friend."  
  
Angel ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. "I need to see Buffy, I have to talk to her about this Glory. I have something that might be able to help her, involving the key."  
  
"Fine, but she's not feeling good right now... far from it in fact... she's... she's just really sad lately... But come on, if you're coming, you better come with me... she uninvited you."  
  
As they walked, Angel watched the young woman in front of him, so much like her sister, yet so different. She had her sister's will, that strong composure that come with Summers' women. What could be wrong with Buffy though? That she had been so sad lately... The reason he had left was so that she could be happy and live a normal life, something which he would never have been able to give her. And now, she was unhappy? The memory of his being human and being able to hold her was settling itself firmly into his mind at the moment and he sighed, this was going to be hard.  
  
Spike drove through the darkness of the city, its lights only fireflies in the darkness at this late hour. So this was Los Angeles, this is what his sire had chosen over such a blonde goddess as Buffy. He was a moron. This would be his first stop on his trip to where he had no idea where he would finally end up. This was all about the journey to find something that might help him help his Slayer. Unfortunately, he was missing her terribly, just being gone from Sunnydale for one day. He pulled up in front of a building, more of a hotel. It was the place, Angel Investigations. How Angel would react to his being there was sure to be an interesting surprise.   
  
He walked up the steps and inside of the building. Looking around he saw green tile and a spacious lobby. Three people were busy at work, a black man, one who looked like he'd walked out of Giles' club, whom he figured was Wesley, and Cordelia. Clearing his throat, he settled back for any attack that might come. "Hello Cordelia."  
  
She turned and gasped when she saw the peroxide ridden vamp standing, right there in the middle of the lobby. "Spike!"  
  
Gunn looked over at Fred and raised an eyebrow, "What's a Spike?"  
  
Wesley stepped forward and in his crisp British accent said, "That's Spike, Angel's granchilde, Drusilla's very own. Also known as William the Bloody who's killed two Slayers in his little over 100 years as a vampire. And the last that I heard, a chip had been implanted into his brain, rendering him harmless to humans, and he now works alongside the same person whom he had lusted to kill, the Slayer. What brings you here Spike?" Wesley still gripped a stake in his right hand, ready to plunge it into Spike's heart, should the need arise.  
  
"You don't have to hold that Wesley. It is Wesley, right? I'm here on business, I need to talk to Angel. And oh, you left out that I'm a master vampire, one of the few blood descendants left, just Angel, me, Drusilla, cause isn't Darla dead now? Yes, that's it, just the three of us now. But do be a good fellow and tell me where Angel is."  
  
"He's not here Spike, he left some time ago, won't be back for awhile either, like a week or something." Cordelia walked forward a little, her t-shirt and jeans very much becoming her. "And he's not gonna wanna see you either. Last time you came here, you tried to kill him, and then threatened to kill me and Doyle."  
  
"How is the bloke?"  
  
"Dead."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Gunn cleared his throat. "Well this is all well and good that we're catching up and all, but you know what? This is starting to get annoying. Now, Spike, whatever it is, Angel isn't here, so why don't you get the hell outta here, cause obviously none of us want you here, from what I can tell at least. "  
  
"Yeah, better that I did keep moving. But you will tell the dear sweet poofter that I stopped by, right?" He groaned and walked out, lighting a cigarette as he did.  
  
As the door shut Cordelia looked over at Wesley. "It's a good thing we didn't tell him where Angel went, right?"  
  
"I believe so, besides, this is Spike, he still doesn't have a soul, and he can kill demons... Angel still is demon, even with a soul. We couldn't trust him."  
  
"But, he looked kinda pathetic... maybe we can still help him..."   
  
"Yeah, maybe we could, help a brother out an all." Gunn chimed in.  
  
"Oh! Wait! I know!" Cordelia ran out the front door of the office. "Spike!"  
  
He stopped and turned around. "What is it luv?"  
  
"I think I might be able to help you out. You see there's this Karaoke bar..."  
  
Buffy stared up at her ceiling, the tears had stopped a few minutes ago and she felt that she no longer had any tears left to cry. That, and reasoning was starting to sink in. Maybe Spike was right to leave. What future would she have, could have had with him? He was an evil, soulless, chipped vampire who her friends would never have accepted. It was for the best... but why did she still feel like there was a part of her missing now?  
  
She heard the front door open and Dawn's voice, "Come on in..." But she still did not get up from her place on her bed, the letter and papers still next to her.  
  
"Buffy! Buffy! Angel's here to see you..." Dawn yelled the words up the stairs as Angel stood in the middle of the livingroom, looking like an outsider in this place where he had once been so welcome.   
  
Buffy slowly got up, groaning that she should have to see Angel now, of all times, in fact, she hadn't thought of Angel now for days, she had been too focused on Spike. She pulled herself together and went downstairs, her hair a wreck and she still smelled slightly of sex, she had lacked the effort to get up and get a shower after coming in this morning after Spike had left.  
  
Walking down the stairs she sighed as she saw him. Still the same Angel, the vampire with the angelic face. He was tall, and handsome and everything that she had ever dreamed of. He had been her prince, but that was when she still believed in fairy tales and happy endings, now, Spike was her partner, her lover, her savior from the darkness. She stopped in front of Angel and sighed. "Angel... what do you need?"  
  
Dawn made her exit as quickly as possible and Angel let his hand caress Buffy's face. "I've missed you."  
  
"Angel, I don't have time for this, what do you want?"  
  
"It's about Glory, and the key."  
  
"The key?" He knows, how did he figure it out? He couldn't have figured it out... he couldn't know that Dawn was the key.   
  
"The key has powers... more than just for destroying the world... it has the power to restore life to a vampire, and leave him with his powers still. This could be the answer Buffy... Buffy, if we get that key first, we could be together... normal, no hiding in the darkness..."  
  
"No, we won't, I'm gonna defeat Glory and then I'm going to get rid of this whole key nonsense once and for all. Angel there is no more us. You left, that's all there is to it. I've moved on, I've found someone new."  
  
"You've? Riley, right?"  
  
"No... Spike."  
  
Spike walked inside of the bar, and of all places a Karaoke Bar... his status as a bad ass vampire was quickly declining. There was some green demon up on stage in some loud suit that was singing, wasn't half bad either. "Guess that he's the guy who owns this place and does all those readings..."  
  
The song ended and low and behold, the green guy walked right up to Spike. "Well blow me over with a feather, we have the original Billy Idol right here. How are you doin doll cakes? Cordelia called and gave me a heads up that you were headin over, but she didn't tell me you were gonna be a cool drink of..."  
  
"Look, I'm here to do the whole bloody singing thing and then you tell me what my path is whatever. You think you can do that mate?"   
  
"Whoa, easy there big fella. You aren't the big bad in here. But, I can help out cause you're Angel's little grandson or whatever. He's done a lot for us out here."  
  
"Yeah, well did he tell you about how he left the love of his life in Sunnyhell because he was too big of a poofter? Bleedin peaches, I oughta show him..."  
  
"I'm sensing a lot of hostility here. Have you two ever considered family counseling?" The look that Spike shot him shut him up instantly. "Sorry, sometimes I tend to pry too far into things, it's a problem. Did you want anything to drink?" He snaps his fingers and the bartender works on pulling together a Sea Breeze and a tray of blood for Spike. "And where are my manners? Welcome to Caritas, I'm the Host here and well let's get you started up there on a song huh?"  
  
Spike just rolled his eyes and took a swig of blood from the bottle before the waiter even got a chance to serve it. "Yeah, I'd say so, I wanna get this over with as soon as possible."  
  
"You and me both buddy, if you're anything like your granddaddy at singing... that man can not carry a note, it's a good thing he's so handsome..."  
  
"I don't wanna talk about Angel, k? And I got a song."  
  
"Good, well, let's get you up there then!" The Host smiled and Spike, grumbling made his way up towards the stage area.  
  
"Ladies and Demons! We've got a real treat tonight, Master Vampire William the Bloody... Spike, is going to spike our punches tonight with his rendition of Warm Safe Place by Staind."  
  
Spike walked out and sat down on the stool, glad that he had been able to find something that wasn't Patti LaBelle or something. A nice rock song was just what he needed. The music started and slowed, allowing him to let his silky baritone voice fall through into the words.   
  
Another day  
  
Inside my world  
  
I'm married to  
  
you and this road.  
  
A road that never lets  
  
me sleep .  
  
So there's no way to escape the  
  
demons I am forced to keep.  
  
Spike closed his eyes, letting the melody and the words he was singing wash over him, as though Buffy were sitting right there in front of him and he were singing for her. He knew he had a good voice, he'd sang for Drusilla when it pleased her.   
  
And then I find you here  
  
Through your eyes  
  
Everything's clear  
  
And I'm home  
  
Inside your arms,  
  
But I'm alone for now.  
  
He longed to be with Buffy again, but he had to remind himself that this was for her, that all that he was doing was for her benefit and that he should not worry about his own needs, because they came second to her, his golden angel.  
  
I mean the best  
  
with what I say.  
  
It doesn't always  
  
sound that way  
  
I never learned to  
  
Work things out cause  
  
In my family all we  
  
Ever seem to do is shout  
  
The Host was literally stupefied as he stared at Spike, singing on stage. Cordelia walked up next to him and sat down with Wesley. They had left Gunn to watch the offices. "Well, what do you see?"  
  
The Host looked over at Wesley and put a finger to his lips, motioning for Wesley to be silent. "And you say that he and Angel are related? Not with those vocal cords... And you know the rules, I can't tell you what his destiny is, that's for him, not you two."  
  
Cordelia nodded dumbly, caught up by Spike's emotional performance. "Uh huh... God, he's amazing."  
  
"That he is doll face. That he is."  
  
But then I find you here  
  
Through your eyes,  
  
everything's clear  
  
And I'm home  
  
inside your arms,  
  
but I'm alone for now.  
  
And when I try to sleep-  
  
the drugs I take  
  
are killing me - I think of you  
  
to ease my pain -  
  
but you're so far-  
  
Now it's time to say goodbye.  
  
I love you baby  
  
please don't cry -  
  
'cause then I'll find you here -  
  
Through your eyes everythings clear -  
  
and I'm home inside your arms - but I'm alone for now.  
  
A single tear ran down Spike's cheek as he poured his heart into the song. It fit so well with his emotions for Buffy, his love, his bliss was with her. She had his heart and for once in his undead life, he could sense it breaking, because if he didn't find something, he would never be able to be with her, and he needed her, more than anything, more than the blood that coursed through his body, more than the cigarettes he craved and more than he had EVER needed Dru.   
  
But then I find you here  
  
Through your eyes,  
  
everything's clear  
  
And I'm home  
  
inside your arms,  
  
but I'm alone for now.  
  
As Spike finished the song, he stood up, receiving a large number of applause from the audience for his performance. He gave them a curt smile and walked offstage and over to the Host, who still sat with Cordelia and Wesley. "Beat it you lackeys, got a thing or two to talk about with the Host."   
  
The Host nodded in agreement with the two and they walked off, talking amongst themselves.   
  
Spike sat down and leaned back in the chair. "Well? Read me. What is it I'm supposed to do, what did you see? Work your mojo here."  
  
"Baby, you've got some problems don't you? You've got your heart all twisted up in this one girl... And she has a thing for Angel? But you've been with her. You need to be something you're not, human, but still with the strength of a vampire. You want a soul. Hun, you're on the right path, you want to please her, but you're also on the wrong path. She needs you with her. From what I saw, there's gonna be a big battle coming up, right? She's gonna need you and I'll bet you anything that she doesn't care what you are. She just misses you. Oh, and by the way, I think she's over Angel."  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"Call it a hunch?"  
  
TBC... 


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: The typical disclaimer, I own nothing of the kind...  
  
Author's Notes: I am so sorry about the lateness of this update, I've been overcome with business of all sorts. The play that I am in is opening tomorrow night and yeah, been really hectic, not to mention my social life but I'm not going into that, I promise that I will work with this story to get it longer and finish it up. So thank you and please review! Oh! and thanks to all of those who reviewed before! I love you all!  
  
Chapter 14  
  
Angel growled low in his throat as that word spilled out over Buffy's mouth. Spike, why did it have to be Spike? He'd tear him apart in a second, show him who truly was the master around here and who wasn't. "No, Buffy, you don't have anything with Spike. Spike is evil! He'd kill you in a second if he had the chance."  
  
"No, he wouldn't Angel. I've given him the chance, more than once." She pulled her hair aside, revealing the fresh bite mark upon her neck, the one that covered all others, making them invisible. "I let him bite me Angel."  
  
Angel felt as though he would lose it right there, his blood boiled as he looked upon the bite that Buffy displayed so proudly. His voice took a low, menacing tone. "My childe? You let my childe mark you? Drink from you? Claim you? How could you be so fucking stupid Buffy!?"  
  
She glared up at her old love. "I don't know, maybe you could answer that for me, I let you bite me, I let you fuck me, and what did you do? You tried to kill me. At least Spike doesn't try to kill me after we..."  
  
She didn't have time to finish her sentence as Angel's hand slammed across her face. "You whore." With that he left the house, returning to his old mansion for oncoming day.   
  
Spike just sat there in the middle of Caritas, sipping his blood, watching the demons and the humans that frequented this place as he thought over what the Host had told him. Maybe his place was back there. No matter what, the thing was was that he missed her, terribly. Every thought was of her, her blonde hair surrounding her, her soft lips pressed against his, her lithe body fighting, holding onto him and just the things that she did on an everyday basis were all swimming around in his head, driving him to miss her more and more.   
  
The day that he had left, he'd woken up with her in his arms, something that made his heart swell with pride and happiness. He knew that he would never be able to live without her. His mind was made up, he would go back to Sunnydale. But the thought lingered in his thoughts, what if she didn't want him back? What if she was happy without him? And why should he listen to some green demon who most likely didn't know what he was talking about? Why not listen to him?  
  
He only knew one thing. He was being a bloody wanker leaving her there to face Glory alone and he'd been even more of a wanker to leave her the way that he had. How could he go back there now? With nothing? "God, Buffy, I wish that I knew what to do..."  
  
Buffy's hand flew to her face where Angel had let loose his hand upon her, the stinging numbness was already subsiding and all she felt was pain as she felt the skin swell and begin to bruise.   
  
Sitting down she stared off into the blank nothingness. She couldn't do it anymore. No more fighting, no more men, no more life. She couldn't save herself let alone anyone else. Dawn was... Dawn was some mystical key that held the answer to so many locked doors in this universe and in her life. Something deep inside of her told her that she would never be able to save the only sister she would ever know. She thought of Spike as she retreated into herself. Spike always had a way of saying the exact wrong thing, something to pull her out of her hell that she let herself drift into and she would hate him for it, but she would love him for it too. He knew what to do even in the worst moments. "God, Spike, I wish that I knew what to do..."  
  
Angel paced about in his mansion, attempting to blow off steam from his fight with Buffy, unfortunately it wasn't working well for him. His dark hair was slicked back and his white muscle tank clung to his sweaty torso. Taking a moment to stop he settled back onto his feet and sighed.   
  
"Well, well... someone's not a happy vampire. You know, the whole screaming and yelling thing, so sick of it." The woman, dressed in a red leather dress that hugged her curves that could only defined as god-like sat down in Angel's large recliner. "Something tells me that you're just a tiny bit upset with a certain Slayer? Well guess what sweetcakes! I am too. Isn't it just a small world? Now, only problem is that you have this pesky little soul, but I can take care of that, no need to worry. We'll take care of that little blonde and find my key."  
  
Angel went to throw a punch at the woman, but she caught his hand in her grasp, and smiled sweetly at him. "Nope, none of that now. But, be a good boy now while I take care of you. Don't worry, when you wake up, you won't have any of those pesky feelings anymore."  
  
The woman suddenly dived her hands into his chest, a strange glow emanating from the connection between the two. As she pulled away with a slight cry, Angel fell back onto the floor of the mansion and the woman watched as the glow upon her hands dissipated into nothingness.  
  
"Sweet dreams vampy, you're gonna be momma's new pet when you wake up."  
  
"I don't like it. Buffy's been really broody and all lately. It's like she's taking lessons from Angel! We need to get her out, take her to the Bronze for some good times." Xander crossed his arms and looked between Anya and Willow who gave him blank looks.  
  
Anya just shrugged and put away some items on the shelves. "Or we could just get her some orgasms. Spike's available right?"  
  
Willow squirmed in her seat as Xander's face contorted into funny patterns at the notion. "An! Spike is so not Buffy's type. If he even tried anything she'd wipe the floor with him! Number one, vampire, number two, bad hair, number three, it's Spike."  
  
"Well I think that Spike is sexy, all Billy Idol and British and very orgasmical, if I didn't have my Xander, I'd be very much for Spike giving me orgasms. Hell, I bet that if Willow wasn't a lesbian and everything that she'd be up for orgasms from Spike too, right?" Anya looked questioning at the blushing redhead.  
  
"I uh..." She was having way too many talks about sex that included Spike in them lately. "Um..."  
  
"Can I say ew? Not a picture that I need An!" Xander shuddered as the thought entered his head of all his best girls hanging on Spike who was just living it up and... "Can we please stop talking about Spike and yeah... Will? What's wrong?"  
  
"I um... uh... Well um... Anya might have something..."  
  
"See? She agrees, Spike is very orgasmical."  
  
"Not that... I mean he and Buffy..."  
  
Xander and Anya looked at Willow expectantly.  
  
"Well, they kinda, already, um, have had, well, um, something."  
  
"WHAT?" Xander promptly fell over in his chair.  
  
The Host walked back over to Spike's table and sat down next to the vampire. "I thought that I gave you some advice already? Maybe the blonde has just corroded your brain, what little there is left... Look baby cakes, this thing you have going on with this girl, it's the real deal. You're hopelessly entirely head over heels in love with her. So I've got a question, what are you doing here? Not a damn thing I tell you. Angel left her, now it's your turn, and if you want a clue here. Angel's there, he went to go see your girl. He knows that he'll never have another chance with her, that was done with a long time ago when he walked out on her, but you, you have a chance. No get back there already!"  
  
Spike just looked up lazily at the demon in across from him. "Have you ever felt like you needed to be somewhere, but you didn't belong there at all? Well that's how I feel when I'm with her. I love every minute with her, but I don't belong there. I'll never belong there. And sure, I might be a bloody bleedin wanker and sure, I may be love's bitch, but at least I admit it."  
  
"Damnit, get your cute ass up and get back there. Something's going to happen and she's gonna need you. I can't tell you everything you know. Now, if I see you still sitting here in five minutes I'm setting you up for a two hour singing block." With that the Host got up and walked off to go talk with another customer.  
  
Grumbling, Spike collected his leather duster and headed out of the club and to his car, maybe he would head back to Sunnydale, what could it hurt? Besides, if Angel was there, well it would certainly mean a good fight, and a good spot of violence was always a cure for anything. 


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Note: Thank you to those who reviewed! Keep reviewing! I love them all!  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own anything...  
  
Chapter 15   
  
Rising slowly from his place on the cold floor of the mansion, Angel looked around, his eyes slightly glassy and a haze around his mind as the last traces of his soul disappeared from his mind and body. The room spun as he crashed back to the floor, screaming out and gripping at his chest, suddenly void of a soul.   
  
Cackling the woman stood up and walked over to him, leaning over, her ample bust spilling from the top of her dress as her curls flounced in front of her face. "Well hello sweets. Time to get up, we have a key for us to get so I can go home. Come on, up now."  
  
Angelus, in the blink of an eye, had his hand clasped around her throat, pinning her against a wall, fangs bared and a clod glint in his once warm eyes. "I'm up..." As he dived in to sink his fangs into her neck, she giggled and kicked him across the room, into the wall and leaving an imprint of his body in the wall.  
  
"So I see, but you will learn that up is not always a good thing... Angelus." She pushed her dress down, smoothing out the wrinkles she had made in it. "Silk, annoying material, but it just feels so good! Anyways, I'm Glory, my minions refer to me as Glorificus, and yadda yadda yadda, but here's the thing. I'm here to get my key so I can go home. I have this little pesky problem though, it's called a slayer. Now, I heard that she's an old girlfriend of yours... Buffy? Ring a bell? So well, she has my key, and she won't give it back!"  
  
"Sounds like a personal problem. What does all of this have to do with me?" Angelus growled menacingly at her, attempting to size her up for what she was and looking for any weaknesses.   
  
"Well, you're gonna help me."  
  
"And why should I do that?"  
  
"So I don't kill you right here." The look she gave him was enough to send fear into any evil's heart.   
  
"So what do you want me to do then?" He blushed the bit of dust off of his sleeve and walked over to her, stalking as though a cat would.   
  
"Why, that's your job to figure out... Kill her friends, kill her, torture her, make her life miserable, heard that you were pretty good with that stuff. Or was I wrong?"  
  
"No, not wrong..." He slipped up in front of her and looked down into her eyes, smirking at the smirk that met his eyes.   
  
Slipping his hands up along her sides he pulled her flush against him, pressing his cold lips against hers, brutally opening her mouth to shove his tongue inside. There was no passion in this, only lust, pure animal lust, driven purely by need and desire.   
  
Spike drove the entire way back to Sunnydale in silence, all of his memories of Buffy floating through his head. The first night that he saw her, he saw a little girl, alive with sexuality. This wasn't the girl who had killed the master, she had looked far too frail, but try as he might have to dismiss it, he couldn't help but see the lithe body that writhed on the dance floor and see her power, her strength. Soon the song that had been playing that night seeped into his mind and he began to tap his fingers on the wheel in tune to the beat as he sang:  
  
"I did a stupid thing last night. A moment of weakness, no not a moment, more like three months of weakness. I'm one step away from crashin' to my knees..."  
  
Dismissing that memory he moved through the rest, once again coming to rest on their first time with one another, when they had been married, running to some place in the middle of the night to elope had been the craziest thing that Buffy had ever done she told him.  
  
"Spike! Honey, this is insane..."  
  
"Is it so insane that I'm in love with you? That I want to be with you forever?"  
  
"No, I mean I want this too... but... my mom?"  
  
"We'll have a big fancy proper wedding later for all the friends and folks, but I just wanna know that we'll always be together..."  
  
"Oh Spike! I love you!"  
  
The memory continued to seep through the cracks in his memory.  
  
"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, forsaking all others?"  
  
"I do."  
  
"Then I no pronounce your husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."  
  
Another tear fell down Spike's cheek as they so often did as of lately when he thought of her, and the closer he got to Sunnydale the more he felt like he was doing the right thing going back.  
  
Buffy stared out at the lonely street that was lit by the occasional street lamp and sighed as she listened to soft music. Who was she kidding? It's not like Spike was coming back, none of them ever did, at least not for her. And Angel... he... he was trying to complicate everything. But the possibility of him becoming human again; however, if Spike was human again... No, it was her sister that she would have to sacrifice to gain such a feat. She would not take her sister's life for some selfish purpose, even if it would mean happiness from this dark, cold world that she now lived in.   
  
She never saw the black DeSoto that pulled up to her house and the dark figure with the platinum hair step out and into her house, heading towards the light of her bedroom.  
  
  
  
Spike walked silently, not wanting to alert her to his presence. It was when he saw her, sitting by her window, bathed in moonlight did he finally know that this was where he belonged, even if she truly never accepted him, he could never leave this again. "'lo luv..."  
  
  
  
No words were needed, none were said as she quickly made her way into his open arms, the two souls embracing one another, swearing that they would never let go, that they would rather drown in each other than let go again.   
  
Lips searched out lips and hands caressed bare flesh, delicately playing, but needing each other. Clothes slipped unbidden from bodies, leaving alabaster flesh and a tanner, darker creme, one hot, one cold, but each burning for the other.   
  
Leaving one another for only a moment to let their eyes look adoringly over the other, they pulled back to one another and feverishly kissed as their hands roamed over each other's taunt skin, sliding over the muscles that lay just under the flesh.   
  
He slipped his arms around her and picked her up in his arms and laid her back onto the bed, slipping himself between her legs. "Did you file those papers yet?"  
  
She smiled up at his concerned face and let her hand caress his cheek. "I couldn't bring myself to... It was one of the last ties I had to you..." She suddenly frowned, "but if you want me to..."  
  
"No... no luv, I don't want you to... I love you."  
  
And again their lips were upon one another, Buffy sighing in ecstasy, "I love you too..."  
  
  
  
"Oh! Fuck me!" Glory growled up at Angel before flipping him over onto his back. She pounded onto him over and over, letting her nails scratch over his skin, drawing blood that she fed to him, and seemed to make him all the more eager to please and make her scream.  
  
His demon lay in plain sight as he fucked her over and over, lapping up his own blood that she fed him and sometimes hers. The more brutal, the better it was for the both of them. The pace was bruising, already past the borders of rape. Blood and sweat coated them, as did their sex.   
  
Spike slowly moved between his angel's legs, drawing out her pleasure as he moved her to a release, holding back his own. He'd been selfish enough as of late, he was going to make this a night for her to remember.   
  
Kneeling down he nipped at her breasts, teasing the buds that peaked out at him, and he let his arms wrap around her, pulling her to him and caressing her back lovingly, all while keeping the slow pace that drove both insane.   
  
Buffy moaned over and over for harder, faster, anything as she panted from all of the glorious sensations that he was evoking within her. Her orgasm had been building for forever it seemed and if she didn't reach it soon, she felt as though she were going to explode.  
  
Moving up he licked a gentle trail across the scar that was still healing on her neck from his bite before slipping his fangs back into her skin to reopen the wound and reclaim her as his, forever and always.  
  
Glory rolled off of Angelus and patted his chest. "Good little vampire."  
  
Angelus just smirked and pulled his pants back on. "Now when do we get to start killing things?"  
  
Spike eased himself onto the bed next to Buffy and pulled her close to him, rubbing her back with his hands. "I love you Buffy. I love you so much. I'm not going to leave you again."  
  
Tears splashed against his chest and he tilted her head to look up at him.   
  
"What's wrong love?"  
  
"It's... Why did you leave? What did you need?... I'm just happy that you're back..."  
  
For the first time, Spike noticed the bruise on the side of his love's face. "What's this?" he said as he traced the outline of the bruise.  
  
"Angel... he... he got upset with me... because I... I was with you..."  
  
The demon inside of him roared in fury at Angel touching his love... she was his... always his. "He'll pay..." 


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Note: I'm craving reviews here, so please review! It gives me inspiration to write, and I am being good to you, two chapters now in two days, and the others aren't far behind. Warning: It gets agnsty and involves mentions of torture and rape.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS or Angel.  
  
Chapter 16  
  
Together, Buffy and Spike began their training sessions, preparing for the fight that both knew would come soon, perhaps sooner than they would be ready. In the weeks that followed, the informed all of the Scoobies, and Buffy's family about their relationship. While Buffy and Spike trained, the group researched.   
  
However, Angelus and Glory continued their own plans. Angelus soon would seek out his revenge up the slayer for making his feel as he had as Angel and soon Glory would have her key, she just needed to know who it was, but all of that was just simple matters.   
  
Angelus leaned back onto Glory's bed as she changed into a red leather dress and put on a pair of pumps to match. "It starts tonight..."  
  
"Good, can't wait to see your work."  
  
"It should be quite... pleasing to you."  
  
"I should expect as much from you Angelus, make me proud." She smirked and cast him a seductive glance. "Please me and perhaps you will get a treat..."  
  
He chuckled low in his throat. "Can't wait to rip apart that whelp and see what his insides look like."  
  
"Why wait when you could do it now?"  
  
"You know... you have a point."  
  
Angelus, with a flash of black from his jacket was gone into the night, to stalk his prey in order to send the slayer to her knees.  
  
Xander walked Anya back up to their apartment and kissed her sweetly before going to open the door. He was suddenly grabbed around the throat and pulled back. Anya watched in rapt horror as a man whom she had percieved to be one of the good guys sunk his teeth into her Xander's neck, and seemed to be... grinning... at the same time. She went to scream, but the man dropped Xander and slammed her into a wall, rendering her only barely conscious. She was forced to watch as her Xander was tortured right before her very eyes.  
  
Blood flowed from his neck as Angelus began work on his body, breaking his fingers one by one, listening to the bones crack and shatter. Xander's eyes regarded the man before him and looked with hatred... Angelus...   
  
He pulled out the knife that he carried with him that night and slid it up Xander's arm, right beside the artery that would end his life and watched the blood flow from it and preformed the same on the other arm, slit to the bone. Moving on he jammed the knife into the fleshy stomach, pulling out the lighter. Lighting it, he moved closer to Xander, tracing the cross onto Xander's shirt, watching it burn in flames that scorched the skin, before burning out.   
  
Seeing the boy ready to pass out, he grabbed him by the hair, yanking him up and grinned at him, licking the neck wound. "Let Buffy know this... I will win this time..." Throwing him down he walked over to Anya who watched in horror and shook his head. "Poor poor thing... Come here."  
  
Grabbing hold of her, he slammed her against a wall and lifted her skirt, letting his hand wander over her before unzipping his own pants and slamming into her, raping her brutally. When the two had passed out he smiled at his own handiwork and left, dialing 911 and then leaving the two to whatever might befall them, death or some other fate. He just knew that it would destroy Buffy.  
  
Buffy got the call early in the morning as she lay wrapped in Spike's arms. Picking up the phone she listened to the person on the other side, her eyes growing wider and wider. Willow was in hysterics on the other side of the phone as she attempted to explain what had happened, to both Anya and Xander.  
  
"Buffy... I'm... scared... They... They don't know... know if... if... if..."  
  
"If?" Buffy was afraid to even ask, too afraid of the answer that she might get.   
  
"If Xander will even make it through the rest of the night..."  
  
"Oh God..." The tears fell unchecked down Buffy's cheeks as she hung up the phone.   
  
Spike, awakened by the phone as well, watched his love and pulled her close to him, whispering to her sweet nothings in hopes that she would be comforted. The truth was, even he was scared. He and the whelp had been getting along fairly well, even forming a friendship of sorts in the past weeks and now this... It just wasn't right. "Love, he'll make it. Xander's a strong guy, and too annoying to die..."  
  
The word die sent Buffy rigid and she looked back at him. "This... has to end..."  
  
Angelus walked back into Glory's room and was met by Ben, who slammed him against a wall. "You murderous bastard! I ought to kill you right here!" He raised a stake as if to emphasize his point. "I don't care what Glory wants or anything else. I'm here to make sure that she doesn't get what she wants and you're first!"  
  
Laughing, Angelus pushed him roughly off of him. "Listen boy, I'm not gonna kill you, because you're Glory, consider yourself lucky, but pull that shit again and you will have your ass kicked severely..."  
  
Ben clutched at his head. "No!" It was then Glory standing in front of Angelus and grinning like a mad woman at him. "Well done... I'm pleased. You really sent Ben for a loop there, and the craftsmanship... fabulous... needless to say, I can't wait to see what else you have planned."  
  
"You did promise me a reward if I did well... didn't you?"  
  
"That I did..."  
  
For the next few days, the gang spent most of their time at the hospital, watching, waiting for Xander to wake up, to reveal that he was going to be okay. Thankfully he had made it through that night, but he wasn't out of the woods yet. The burns that covered his upper body were the most gruesome sight, and the bandages had to be changed every hour.   
  
Willow tailspinned into a deep depression and refused to leave her home, and Anya refused to even utter a word as she, forever sat by Xander's side, gripping his hand.   
  
Giles threw himself into his work, recording all of his books and working overtime at the Magic Shop.   
  
  
  
The bell on the door of the shop tinkled and Giles heard footsteps from the back room, but was knocked unconscious by a sudden blow to the head. Angelus looked over at Glory who stood beside him. "This is Giles, Slayer's watcher. Writes everything down. If she knows where the key is, then he knows too... and it's somewhere in one of his books..."  
  
"You know, I just might have to keep you around." She smiled and went off in search of the book that would contain the answer to the question that had been plaguing her for months.  
  
Angelus on the other hand made sure that Giles would not be waking anytime soon... and left a note, pinned to the tweed.   
  
Slayer,  
  
Come and get me... if you can.  
  
Love,  
  
Angelus  
  
"Found it! It's her brat kid sister. No wonder she was so damn jumpy whenever the brat came in the room..."  
  
"Yeah, well let's go get the little bitch in training before she comes and finds her watcher..." He looked back at Giles, slumped against the back wall, sitting in a chair, blood falling from a large gash on his forehead. 


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Note: Just um... 7 more chapters to go. Yay! I have them all outlined and everything, so expect quick updates, unless of course their are no reviews and then well... :P  
  
Disclaimer: How many times must I declare that I don't own btvs or angel?  
  
Chapter 17  
  
Buffy moved against Spike, their bodies as one, heated skin pressed against the other. Since Spike had come back from Los Angeles, Buffy had demanded that he stay with her. Joyce in the beginning had been skeptical, but it was Spike, whom she already thought of as son, due to some odd circumstances, though she didn't know about the marriage, that remained secret.   
  
Spike kissed Buffy's eyelids as they fluttered in pleasure and ran his hand down her side, eliciting another moan from her exquisite mouth. "God Buffy, I love you."  
  
She smiled up at him and pressed a finger against his lips. "Shhh, make love to me..." She needed him, badly, to help her forget about the pressures, to forget about Xander and all the pain that she felt for him, she needed her release from this world, if even just for a moment, and with Spike she could get that.   
  
More than happy to oblige to her wishes Spike kissed down to her collarbone, nipping at the flesh that was there, letting his hands roam all over her body in order to feed the fire that burned within her body and between her legs. Finding his goal, the apex of her legs, her let a single digit slide between her folds as his mouth continued to torment her upper body, finding her breasts as a special delight that needed plenty of attention.  
  
Buffy groaned as she felt his finger slide inside of her. It was nowhere near what she needed, she needed him. The fires in her body felt as though they would incinerate her at any moment. Another digit joined the one already inside of her and her back arched as he curled them upwards inside of her, touching her and making her moan.   
  
Letting his thumb brush across her clit, he looked up from his ministrations upon her right breast to smirk at her reaction, eyes closed shut, lips slightly parted and face flushed as she begged him to feel him inside of her. Admittedly, he too was burning to be inside of her, his member fully erect and straining to reach the ultimate goal, sheathed inside of his love. It wasn't until he felt her gentle hand grasping him guiding him to her that his resolve crumbled.   
  
He entered her, sliding inside of her as a sword would a scabbard, fit just for him; she was tight around him, sheathing him perfectly. She could feel how perfectly her fit inside of her, touching her deeply and making her want to scream out in ecstasy. The rhythm was gentle at first and then more demanding as both of them needed their release. Closer and closer they came, moaning each other's name, needing it, wanting it, needing each other. Spike reached down and twisted one of her nipples between his forefinger and thumb, then dipping his head down to nip at it, letting both of his hands drop to below her ass, lifting her to allow for better leverage.   
  
If she didn't have her release soon, Buffy swore that she would explode. Spike moved back up to look into her eyes, blue meeting green and it felt as though the ocean crashed together as he kissed her, passionately, desperately, needing, wanting, having, all in one. They both came forcefully, then drifted off into sleep, wrapping in one another's arms.   
  
Buffy walked through the Magic Shop, seeing the books and other merchandise strewn across the room. She was alone, looking among the wreckage of the shop, but stopped suddenly at the sound of an injured moan coming from behind the counter. She heard it again and moved forward, slowly, apprehensively.   
  
Giles lay propped against the wall in a chair, his head bleeding and a note that she couldn't make out. "Oh God! Giles!" She ran to help him, but it was as though she couldn't reach him.   
  
"Buffy, no, you mustn't, you have to go save Dawn. The future of this world rests with Dawn," said Giles, looking up at her with pained eyes.  
  
"Yes Buffy, go save Dawn. Leave your watcher here, I'll take good care of him." Angel grinned at her, but it wasn't Angel... she'd seen that grin before... it was...  
  
  
  
Suddenly Buffy was in the middle of the street, looking up at a large construction site, Dawn was at the top and Spike was beside her now. "Can't save um all luv. Know that I love you though."  
  
Spike plunged a stake into Angel's heart and Angel looked at her with a pathetic look before crumbling to dust. Glory stood in front of Buffy now and laughed at her. "He's right, you'll never be able to save your brat of a sister. I'm a God dearie. Why don't you just give up now? Let me go home, then slice your sister to bits to close up the portal. Shouldn't be too hard."  
  
Buffy went to punch her, but couldn't it felt as though she couldn't move her arms as she looked up at the top of the tower. Spike was there, but the portal was opening. She could do nothing. Then a bright golden light...   
  
"NO!!!! DAWN!!!!!!!!" Buffy woke, a cold sweat covering her body as her heart beat raced in her chest.   
  
Spike, waking up at his love's exclamation, wrapped his arms comfortingly around her. "Shh... Dawn's at Willow's luv... what's wrong?"  
  
"Oh God..." She buried her face in his chest. "It... Giles... you... Dawn... Angelus..."  
  
"Angelus?"  
  
"We need to go find Giles... God I hope that wasn't one of my 'this dream will happen' dreams."  
  
Spike sighed and kissed her forehead. "You go check on Giles. I'll call Red and make sure that Little Bit is safe and sound."  
  
"Come with me... Please?" Her voice was pleading, it was as though she were afraid of him leaving her, that she wouldn't be able to handle what she saw in her dream if she saw it in real life.  
  
"Alright luv, I'll come with you."  
  
Walking into the Magic Shop the same scene met her as that met her in her dream. "Bloody hell, what happened in here? Looks like a Largos Demon went dancing."  
  
Buffy game Spike a strange look. "I don't even wanna know... but, this is what I saw in my dream... and Giles... he was..." She made a sudden bolt for behind the counter, and sure enough Giles was there, blood still flowing from the wound on his head. She pulled her sweater off and placed it against his head. "Hold on Giles, I'll get you some help."  
  
Spike pulled the note off of the man's tweed jacket and read it. "Um, luv... looks like our situation just got worse..."  
  
"Wha...?"  
  
"Angelus... he's here... He did this."  
  
"But... I just saw ANGEL... he wasn't Angelus..."  
  
Giles looked up at Buffy and with his weak strength, gripped her arm with his hand. "Angelus was here, with Glory, they know that Dawn is the key. You MUST save her... the fate of this world depends on her."  
  
Spike was already on the phone to Willow as Giles looked pleadingly up at Buffy. All of it, it was all coming out to be the way that it was in the dream... her sister would die...  
  
"Red, hey, it's Spike... Red, calm down... Red... oh God... okay, um, we'll get her, don't worry. Could you and Tara come take care of Rupert though? He's hurt pretty bad... Don't worry Red, we'll get her back, it's not your fault... Don't talk like that, it's gonna be fine..." He hung up the phone. "I hope... Luv?"   
  
Buffy turned her attention to Spike, hoping that he held good news.   
  
"Angelus and Glory have her... Red tried to stop them, but they overpowered her... Red was lucky to make it out alive..."  
  
"Oh..." She couldn't finish her sentence as tears welled up in her eyes. "Spike... she's gonna die... this world is going to end tonight..."  
  
"No, it's not and don't you dare talk like that. We'll get her back luv. Come on, let's go get some weapons and get Little Bit back." He went and picked Buffy up from where she slumped against the floor. "Red is gonna come take care of Giles."   
  
Truthfully, Spike was scared shitless of what was going to happen, he didn't know if they would be able to stop Glory, but he made a solemn vow that Angelus would pay, for everything that he has ever done. Angelus, tonight, would die at his hands like he should have years ago.   
  
  
  
Collecting all of the weapons that they might possibly need, including Thor's Hammer, forged by the gods themselves, for Buffy to wield against Glory, the two began their journey to where Buffy's dream had told them they would find Glory and Angelus, and Dawn...   
  
Tonight would be a fight to the death. Would good triumph over evil, or would the world be sucked into hell and everything and everyone that they held dear be condemned to die? 


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Note: Here's another chapter, enjoy! I'm seriously gonna try to finish this story as quickly as I can, please review!  
  
Disclaimer: Blah blah blah... don't own...  
  
Chapter 18  
  
Coming towards one another, Angelus grasped Glory in his arms, kissing her harshly in front of Dawn. "Time is almost here..."  
  
"Bout damn time too. Come on Dawnie, you're gonna send me home." She grabbed Dawn roughly by the arm and sighed as Dawn struggled against her. "Oh stop that. Ben isn't gonna save you this time dearie. Ben can't do anything anymore. You're the key, you have a purpose. You get to go home too, not this stupid hell of an earth, but you're gonna go into your lock. Fit all snug in your lock, and if you try anything... well, Angel here is here to make sure that you don't." She threw her forward. "Now get moving."   
  
Angel pulled her back for another kiss. "I'll keep anyone from getting up there. Including the slayer." He laughs. "Not that she'll have idea what's going on. God I love her, so fucking naive."  
  
Buffy, holding onto Thor's Hammer and Spike's hand, led the two of them through Sunnydale to an old abandoned area. Spike could hear the sounds of construction for a little while now and it was growing stronger. They stopped as they reached the fence that guarded the area and looked in to survey the grounds.  
  
"Oh my God... she has her own fucking army! It's all of... it's Sunnydale's insane... oh God..."  
  
Spike rubbed her shoulders and kissed her neck where his mark lay. "Don't worry about them luv. All we have to worry about it gettin Bit back, Glory and Angelus. Let me take Angelus, you go after Glory and get Dawn, I'll meet you up there if I can." He spotted Angelus walking through the crowds of workers and growled. "Pillock."  
  
Buffy looked up at Spike and suddenly pulled him down for a kiss. Her lips touched his and the gentle caress seemed almost like a goodbye. So tender were her lips, her gentle tongue darting into his mouth, sliding against his own. He felt the tears that dripped onto his cheeks from her eyes and held her close. As she pulled away she looked up at him. "I love you."  
  
"Luv, this isn't goodbye..."  
  
"It might be... I might lose..."  
  
"You can't save um all luv. But I do love you and I do have faith in you."  
  
"You said that already?"  
  
"Said what?"  
  
"That I can't save them all... in my dream..."  
  
Hugging her close he sighed and kissed the top of her head. "We make our own destiny and no bloody dream can tell us different. This isn't goodbye, believe that. Now come on, let's go finish this."  
  
She nodded and he gave her hand a little squeeze before walking out into the area where Angel stood.  
  
His easy swagger carried him over to Angel and he grinned as he put his hands in his pockets. "Heard that you were startin a little somethin here. How are ya man? Glad to see that the old Angelus is back, not some bloody poofta..."  
  
"What do you want Spike? Thought that you were house whipped now, the slayer's lap dog?"  
  
"Just talking some old advice you gave me... That in order to kill this one, you gotta love her... Didn't you say that to me?"  
  
"Glad that you finally started to listen after what? A century? She is fun isn't she?"  
  
"Oh yeah... fun. Bloody fantastic." Spike swung, not even giving Angel a chance to react as his fist connected with his jaw, and his other fist being swung into his stomach.   
  
Buffy ran, jumping onto the tower and running as quickly as her feet would carry her to the top of the tower, where her sister and Glory were.   
  
"Well well, looks like Angel's having fun down there. Better get this show on the road huh Dawnie?"   
  
"Fuck you."  
  
Glory smirked. "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Don't worry, it'll be quick, well not really... it'll actually be really slow for you... but never mind that."  
  
"Buffy is going to kick your ass, you bitch." She spat at her as well as she could in her confines of the ropes.   
  
Glory watched the spit fall harmlessly to the ground in front of her. "Buffy isn't going to save you, you little brat; she knows that she can't win. If she does come, it's not going to be to save you... it's going to be to kill you... Cause you know what? The portal only closes when your blood stops running, and the sooner that your blood stops flowing, the quicker that the portal that is going to kill everything here closes. Your sister knows that, so she's probably just waiting around..."  
  
"Think again bitch." Buffy swung with the hammer, hitting Glory in the jaw and sending her reeling into one of the pillars. "No one messes with my sister."  
  
Angel fell backwards into a pile of garbage and growled, his features that of his demon. "Not a smart move Spike old boy."  
  
"Wasn't a smart move on your part to hit Buffy, kidnap her sister or take up with the god of bad home perms." He shrugged his duster off, letting him have more freedom to move. This was his sire, nearly twice his age, with nearly twice as much strength, but not nearly as much heart.   
  
Angel launched himself at Spike, going for his throat to pin him back, but Spike anticipated it, ducking, shifting to the side and kicking Angel in the back as he neared him, sending him to the ground. "What's a matter Angel? Getting too old?"  
  
"Fuck you, you insolent little prick!"  
  
"Me thinks you are the prat here." Spike pulled out a stake and twirled it around in his hand. "You aren't leaving here tonight."  
  
"Neither are you." Angel moved suddenly, taking Spike's legs out from under him. Spike fell to the ground, the stake falling from his fingers. Grabbing for something to wield, he grabbed onto an iron bar and jumped back to his feet. Angel already had another bar in his hands and swung, hitting Spike in the head with it.  
  
"Now wouldn't it be funny if Spike got Spiked?" Angel grinned and swung the bar around again, this time to be blocked by Spike.  
  
"Ha ha." The bars clanked back and forth, where one was, the other was, anticipating each other's moves, knowing what the other would do, but Spike was impatient, impetuous and all around less mature than Angel.   
  
Angel bade his time till the opening presented itself and then he'd strike. "How does it feel that I got to her before you did? That I took her innocence?"  
  
Spike growled and launched himself forward at Angel, ready to rip him to pieces, Angel sidestepped and Spike felt the sting of the bar sliding through his stomach, ripping through the skin. He fell backwards and ripped it from his body, blood falling to the ground.  
  
"You should know better Spike. I'll always be better than you. You were always second best to me. With everything... Drusilla, fighting, and Buffy... She loved me... she just thinks of you as some monster..."  
  
"Take it back! She loves me!" Spike, catching Angel off guard sent one more attack at him, slamming the bar through him and imbedding it into the fence behind him, trapping him there. Looking around Spike picked up a piece of wood and flipped it around in his hand.   
  
He walked up to Angel, grinning madly as he watched Angelus's eyes watch the spinning wood. "She loves me you bloody pillock. She'll always love me. You were her little schoolboy crush. But she and I will dance in your ashes and thank God that you are gone... Do you hear me? You mean NOTHING to her or to me. You are nothing..." With that he slammed the stake into Angelus's heart and watched as he turned to dust, falling before his feet. "Goodbye dad."  
  
Buffy swung, hitting Glory again square in the jaw as Dawn screamed behind her. Glory, picking herself up would go to hit Buffy again, only receiving another blow from the hammer. She had to get the hammer away from Buffy somehow.   
  
Thinking Glory down for the moment, Buffy went to go untie Dawn, but that was her mistake. Glory took her opening and kicked the hammer away from her grasp and watched it fall to the ground with the slayer. "Well well... looks like I just upped the odds in my favor."  
  
Buffy looked at Glory and went to swing at him, her hand being caught in Glory's grip. "Say goodnight to your big sis Dawnie. She's gonna go for a little trip..." Glory spun and kicked Buffy square in the chest.   
  
She was falling back, stumbling backwards, she couldn't stop it, she couldn't save Dawn, she was falling... Her feet couldn't hold her and she stumbled on the edge, falling, she grabbed a hold of the edge, but could she hold on? Where was Spike?  
  
  
  
Spike, turning, looked up at the tower and saw as Glory unarmed Buffy and kicked her... she was falling... grabbing the edge... "BUFFY!!!!" 


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: Can you believe it? So far three chapters in one day. I've really gotten pull into my own writing and I don't want to leave any of you guys hanging. So please thank me by reviewing  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS and I don't own the song in this chapter... "My Last Breath" by Evanescene... gorgeous song...  
  
Chapter 19  
  
Buffy clung to the to the edge of the tower for all her worth, and watched helplessly as Glory picked the knife back up, stepping towards her sister. She couldn't get a good grip to pull herself up, and she felt herself slipping. Daring a look down her heart nearly collapsed. Stories above the ground she dangled with no hope of saving her sister, or possibly even herself.   
  
Spike sprinted up the many flights of stairs, he had to get there before she fell, he had to, before Dawn was sacrificed, before his love plummeted to the ground, before his world shattered around his feet. Another flight of stairs, another minute that slipped by that reduced his chances of saving the two women he loved most in this world.   
  
Glory ran her hand over the blade of the knife as she neared Dawn. "Well Dawnie, this is the end of the road... any last words? Anything you'd like to say to your sister? She's hanging around right over there..."  
  
Dawn sneered at her and glared. "Just get it over with if you're gonna do it... I don't wanna listen to you talk anymore."  
  
"If you want..." She pulled the knife to Dawn's skin slicing through the fabric and into the flesh. "Shallow cuts... shallow, let's the blood run..."  
  
The blood began to flow down her body and Dawn grimaced at the feel of the hot liquid trailing down her skin.   
  
Buffy's grip kept slipping, she couldn't hold on my longer... and Dawn... "Spike? Where are you?"   
  
Spike reached the top and dove for Buffy's had, but it was too late. Buffy's weak grip failed her and she plummeted through the air and spiraled down to the earth below. Spike's hand grasped air as he attempted to reach for her. "Buffy!" Tears trailed down his face, unable to do anything but stare spellbound as his love plummeted to her death. Memories came crashing around him, as his vision blurred with tears.  
  
"You're beneath me Spike..." She told him that once... He had told her of his history, turning into a vampire and how he had killed the two slayers and she ripped open his heart after he had laid it before her so openly; however, when he went back to kill her, she was crying on her porch, it was the first time that they learned of her mother's cancer. He wanted so desperately to comfort her that night, make sure that she never cried again.   
  
Their first true fight... She was in her high school, parent teacher night or something like that. She moved with such grace, and he longed to sink his fangs within her neck and drink from her blood, but she had bested him, well her mom had, what with the whole "Get the hell away from my daughter..."  
  
When they had both joined forces against Angelus, she had almost trusted him as they fought side by side. It had been the first taste of a calm life with the slayer. Kinda funny that it always took an apocalypse to pull the two of them closer and it typically had something to do with Angel.   
  
Then there was when Faith took over Buffy's body and had tortured him so. The sexual tension, his wanting not to kill her anymore, but shag her senseless into a wall. Though it had been Faith, all he saw was how sensual Buffy's body looked and how much he wanted to just dive into her.  
  
Their first night together, the night that they had been married... sweet bliss... and now she was dead.  
  
Buffy fell to the ground, her bones crushing upon impact on the pile of sheet metal and lumber. All wind, breath, was knocked from her lungs and the intense pain shoot throughout her body, wishing that she had died on impact. Scared so scared... Where was Spike? She needed him now... She just needed to tell him, one last time...  
  
hold on to me love  
  
you know i can't stay long  
  
all i wanted to say was i love you   
  
and i'm not afraid  
  
can you hear me?  
  
can you feel me in your arms?  
  
Her vision was coated in blood and her breath was coming in short gasps. She was alone and she would die alone, alone with her thoughts, her thoughts wouldn't leave her. In her thoughts, Spike was with her, he would always be with her. So close, she had found love, and once again it was ripped from her, harshly ripped from her. Spike would never leave her... she had left him, but at least they had found the light together.  
  
holding my last breath  
  
safe inside myself  
  
are all my thoughts of you  
  
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight  
  
They would never have the chance for anything, but then, with Spike, a vampire, what chance was there at a normal life? She had learned that with Angel. One thing that Angel never understood though was, what kind of a normal life can a Slayer hope to lead? A Slayer's life was short, far too short for all that Buffy had hoped to do. All she could hope for now was that the world didn't end along with her, that Spike would be able to save them all.   
  
"I love you Spike..." the words barely registered out of her mouth, but they were out, she had said them.  
  
i'll miss the winter  
  
a world of fragile things  
  
look for me in the white forest  
  
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)  
  
i know you hear me  
  
i can taste it in your tears  
  
Married, together, forever, until death, but however, it is beyond. Their lives, hers and Spike flashed before her eyes and she once again began to cry. She looked up and through the blood coated vision, she saw them. Spike, crying, his arm outstretched in hopes of catching her when she fell. Save her Spike, save them all.  
  
holding my last breath  
  
safe inside myself  
  
are all my thoughts of you  
  
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight  
  
She was going to die, she knew that she would, it was the inevitable. As her blood seeped into her vision and from the corners of her mouth, the tears, salty tears mixed with her blood. The truth, she would never see another birthday, or see her friends again. As the Slayer was destined, she was alone, always. She hurt for her friends, but she hurt so much for Spike. He had finally found happiness, come to grips with the torment that went on inside of himself and now, they had to part. Leaving him was the only thing that she regretted in her life.  
  
closing your eyes to disappear  
  
you pray your dreams will leave you here  
  
but still you wake and know the truth  
  
no one's there  
  
Gathering her strength, she said her last words before falling into darkness, saying them to the still night. "I love you Spike. Take care of them. Don't be afraid, you can go on. Go on without me. I will always be with you, always, but we knew this would happen. I would die, and you would not... It doesn't change how I feel about you though..." Her breath hitched in her throat as she continued her soliloquy. "Tell my mom that I love her, and Xander and Willow too. They'll always be my best friends. Tell Giles that he was the father that I never had. Tell Dawn that I could never have been who I am without her." The tears forced her to close her eyes and finish the rest as a prayer. "I have saved this world time and time again and I have seen so many things that a person should never have had to see. You, you were my light in these last few dark days. I love you. Goodnight, this isn't goodbye, never goodbye. Goodnight my love, goodnight."  
  
say goodnight  
  
don't be afraid  
  
calling me calling me as you fade to black 


	20. Chapter 20

Author's Note: thank you all so much for reviewing! But surprise surprise... that wasn't the end... no no, there were some loose ends that had to be tied up... this chapter went pretty fast and well, I combined a few that I had originally outlined to make it longer. I could have been evil and cut it up... I just have one more update to make... an epilogue that will tie EVERYTHING UP! YAY! Love you all!  
  
Diclaimer: Don't own BtvS... Thank you.  
  
Chapter 20  
  
The world crumbled around their feet as Glory suddenly clutched at her head. "No! Damn you! Stay in there! I'm going home and you're gonna kiss your pathetic little existence goodbye Ben!"  
  
"I will not be shoved into the dark closet of your life Glory!" Ben emerged from her, and looked at Dawn and Spike. Picking up the knife he went towards Dawn. "I'm sorry, but it has to end..."  
  
A guttural, primitive roar escaped Spike as he lunged for the boy, his fangs bared. In an instant his fangs were clamped hard onto the boys jugular and windpipe. The blood poured down his throat, Glory's blood, Ben's blood. It wasn't human, but something sweeter, intoxicating, but at the same time, it tasted sour, bitter and disgusting. Ripping away, Spike tore most of the boy's throat out, the blood spraying across the area, as Ben fell to the ground. Glory was dead, dead from a mortal being's wound.  
  
"SPIKE!" Dawn screamed as the shaking of the earth grew worse and worse, the tear literally turning the world into hell.   
  
He spat on the corpse and walked over to Dawn, cutting her ropes with the knife, releasing her from the horror that Angelus and Glory had put her in. "Come on, we gotta get you home..."  
  
"No, Spike. I have to die... You don't get it..." She looked him in the eyes and sighed, his blue teary eyes revealed his pain at the loss of Buffy. "If I don't die, there's going to be a lot of deaths tonight. It's going to be the end of the world... You have to drink from me... you have to drain me. I want you to. I want you to hold me as you do it... I don't want to feel alone when I die..."  
  
"No... No Dawn, I can't! You don't know what you're asking of me! I can't drink you! I can't drain you! I just can't. You're the only other person on this earth that I care about that's alive! Buffy..."  
  
"Buffy would understand. Buffy loved you, as do I. Spike, if you love me, you'll kill me, cause I can't live in this hell!" She wrapped her arms around him in a giant hug. "Please..." She pressed his head to her neck where the blood coursed through her veins. "Drink."   
  
It was more of a command now than a plea, though the plea still held in her voice. Looking up at the sky, Spike watched the blood streaked night as demons entered into their universe. A single tear fell from his eyes as he looked at Dawn, then back down at her neck. "I'll always love you and your sister Dawn... always."  
  
He let his fangs sink into her young neck, and as the blood flowed, so did the tears. She was everything, pure, innocent... his Little Bit... The Summers women roped him in and held him to them, forever touching a place in his heart. Even Joyce was like a mother to him. He could truly say that if given the time with her, he would grow to love her as well, and maybe now he could, he could grieve with Joyce over the loss of her two daughters.  
  
Dawn's blood slowed in his mouth and he felt her heart begin to give out, but he had to drain her, all of it... for the portal to close...  
  
The blood stopped and he released her to the ground, laying her down. "Goodnight Dawnie..."  
  
He looked up and watched the portal close, shutting out the demons and the hell dimensions that threatened the earth.   
  
Bending to pick Dawn up and take her down, to find Buffy's body as well, he met a blinding golden light that emanated from the girl's body. Glowing white, Dawn's body was slowly disappearing and the golden light grew stronger and stronger, an aura around the girl. Just when Spike thought he couldn't bear to look at the light anymore, it shot at him, driving straight into his heart, filling his body with warmth.   
  
Dawn's body had vanished, not a trace of her left to be seen, or any memory of her. The monk's spell was broken. The key had played its role and no longer needed life. Once again Sunnydale returned to the world that held no Dawn. Joyce Summers had only given birth to one daughter, Spike never had one to call Little Bit, Buffy never got into fights with her sister, she never had a sister, all memory was gone.  
  
Xander, in his hospital bed woke to find Anya sleeping with her head resting against the bed, and Giles, walking with Willow to his home, the wound on his forehead now stitched up, all found their attention drawn to the brilliant golden light that grew on the outskirts of Sunnydale.   
  
Spike found himself on his knees now, the light still filling his body. Warming him, never had he felt something like this. It felt as though he would burn from the inside out, suddenly combust into flames, but he also felt peace... And then the pain spread throughout his body, searing pain that gagged him as he attempted to cry out from the harshness of it. It had to be the Power that Be... it had to be, they were punishing him for allowing Buffy, their champion to die... if only he'd been quicker... if only...  
  
He was surrounded in the light now, it was all that he could see. Two beings stepped forward and smiled at him. "Spike... do not be afraid. Yes, we are the Powers that Be, but you should not fear us. The pain is necessary to complete your transformation... We will make you whole again. The key... she made sure of that. She held the power to let you become human, and become human you will. She knew not what she was doing, but it felt right to her. We agree with her choice Spike. You truly are a champion..."  
  
The other, a female spoke softly. "You have loved, fought for truth and remained loyal. Your pain brings great sadness to us. But things work for a reason. We watch over all, and perhaps all is not lost, but perhaps, more is gained. We must go now... goodbye Spike, take care of our champion..."  
  
The golden light vanished from around him, but another one began to bathe him... sunlight. He was in sunlight. The sun had risen and he was not in flames, but instead he felt a heart beat inside of his chest, blood pumping through his veins, hot blood... "Buffy..."  
  
He ran, jumping down flights of stairs, faster and faster to reach his love's body. He noticed that he still held the strength and agility that he had had as a vampire... he was as Buffy used to be... a champion... a human champion...   
  
Feet hitting the ground he ran to where he had seen her fall... and there she was, her hair splayed about her in all its golden glory as though it were a halo. He fell to his knees in front of her and wept. He had never wept so much before as he had that night.   
  
Looking upon her, her face was bloodied and tear streaked. She hadn't died on impact, she'd suffered, alone, no one to comfort her and the thought broke him up inside. "Oh Buffy... how I wish I could have been with you... to let you know that you weren't alone... I failed you..."  
  
He picked her up in his arms and kissed her eyelids. "God I love you..."  
  
Carrying her away from the place, he didn't notice the faintest of heartbeats that beat in Buffy's chest... 


	21. Epilogue

Author's Note: This was just so awesome to write, it was my baby for about two months. It's kinda sad to see it over too... I really wanna know what all of you thought of it.  
  
Disclaimer: Joss, you are God, I agree, you own this wonderful, brilliant idea and I have only borrowed it to bend it and twist it to my will, I want no part of your rightful ownership...  
  
Epilogue  
  
"I thought that I'd lost you luv... That pain... my heart, for the first time in over a hundred years was beating again and all that I felt was it breaking... because you weren't there with me..."  
  
She smiled up at him from her place curled inside of the stiff white hospital linens. "You should know better... takes a whole hell of a lot to kill me."  
  
He smiled and kissed her. "Got that right, I should know, I've tried."  
  
"And failed miserably."  
  
"And you know what they say... if you can't beat 'um, join 'um."  
  
Spike smiled at his wife as she walked around the back lawn of their home in Sunnydale remembering that day over two years ago when he was told that she was alive... however iffy it was. She had pulled through and he had lavished attention upon her for the two years and was still lavishing attention upon her.   
  
Today was their anniversary and everyone was parading throughout the house, Xander and Anya who had just recently announced their engagement, Willow and Tara, Giles, Joyce and of all people... Lorne, the Karaoke singing demon had shown up. It made Spike laugh.   
  
His beautiful wife Buffy was running around from guest to guest, socializing, living up the party life, while Spike was content to just lean back and watch her, remember everything about her.   
  
They had gotten "remarried" in a church, with the whole gown and outdoor reception thing, and at least this time the didn't have to register as Mr. and Mrs. Big Pile of Dust. Rupert gave her away and she had looked beautiful, stunning even in her gown of white... He sighed. His life only got better and better with each passing day, and he was still able to assist her in her patrolling, since the Powers that Be left him with his vampiric powers, which was a blessing. Spike didn't know if he would ever completely give up on violence, he reveled in it too much... the fight, the kill, the burning afterwards... which usually led to their bedroom...  
  
He'd taken up a job at University of California-Sunnydale as an English professor, specializing in Chaucer and Shakespeare and he loved every minute of it. Poetry, great literature... the old William had definitely come back, and he did go by William again; however, the inner circle still referred to him as Spike, which he preferred.  
  
Buffy walked by him and he grinned as his arm snaked out around her waist. "Now just where do you think your off to so fast pet? Don't even have time to stop and give me a smooch?"  
  
She giggled at him and kissed the tip of his nose. "No where now..." She tilted his face up and kissed him passionately.  
  
Xander gagged as he looked at everyone else. "I REALLY hate when they do that... I mean they're not going to separate forever... and the whole smoochie thing... it still weirds me out with those two."   
  
Anya rolled her eyes and smacked his leg. "It's cute, leave them alone, or you get no smoochies."  
  
He shut up.  
  
Buffy pulled away from Spike and smiled at him as she pulled his hand over and placed it over her stomach. Tilting his head to the side he gives her a strange look. "What is it I'm supposed to be feelin luv?"  
  
She smiled brightly and leaned over to whisper to him. "I'm pregnant, I found out yesterday when I went in to the doctors..."  
  
Beaming with pride he kissed her again, this time getting groans from the entire group... well just the males at least...   
  
"I want to name it Dawn if it's a girl... something about that name..." She paused as though she remembered something, but continued on. "And William if it's a boy..."  
  
Spike didn't think he could become any happier than he was at that very moment. He smiled and kissed her hand. "Those are perfect names luv, just as you are perfect."  
  
Looking over at Willow he smiled and said to himself, "Sometimes not all wills can be broken; this was definitely a will unbroken..."  
  
THE END 


End file.
